She frowns. “Oh, he’s probably just getting a jab. Maybe a blood draw.”
The screaming gets louder. I run a hand over my face. I don’t like this at all. I don’t like this place.
“What if they want to do something to her that we don’t like?” I blurt out. “Can we take her and leave?”
Beth stares at me. “What do you mean? What would they do to her?”
I open my mouth, but before I can come up with an answer, a door in the corridor opens.A grey-haired woman with a stethoscope around her neck steps out. “Camilla Ray?” She calls.
I don’t say anything.
Beth gives me a weird look. “Here,” she says, standing. I take a deep breath and follow her into the open surgery door.
The doctor smiles kindly as we step into the sterile-looking office, cooing at Cami. “Let’s have a look at you. Oh, you’re a little chubby one, aren’t you?”
“Is that bad?” I ask doubtfully. I’m not putting a six-month-old on a diet, for God’s sake. How would that even work? She just drinks milk.
The woman shakes her head. “She’ll grow out of it. Some babies are just born a little fatter. I’d always rather see a sturdy baby than a weak one.” She pats the padded table. “Alright. Hop on up, my love.”
Beth lays Cami carefully down onto the table, and then we both stand by as the doctor runs her through a whole gamut of tests. Cami gets weighed, measured, poked and prodded. The whole time, the doctor peppers me with questions I don’t know the answer to.
“Has she started teething?” She asks, swabbing Cami’s cheek for the DNA test.
I shrug. “Not sure.”
“Hm. What about crawling? Can she roll over?”
“I don’t know.”
The woman gives me a hard look. I feel like shit. Yeah, it’s not my fault that I don’t know this stuff; butsomeoneshould, for God’s sake. Someone should care enough about her to follow all her milestones.
The appointment ends with the doctor giving Cami her shots. As she preps the needle, Cami’s good mood immediately dissolves. She starts to cry lustily, as if she can sense what’s coming. My heart just about breaks as I watch the tears roll down her cheeks. She looksscared,and it’s fucking with my head.
“Oh, dear,” the doctor says cheerily. “We almost made it. Right, we’re going to need to hold her down.”
I stare at the woman. “What?”
“Just pop your hand on her foot, stretch out her leg for me.”
I stare down at the sobbing baby girl in front of me. Her cheeks are pink and wet, and she’s squirming, trying to get away from the doctor. My throat closes. “Can’t we do it some other time? She’s scared.”
“Trust me, no matter when we do this, she’s not going to like it. Better to just get it out of the way now.”
I take a deep breath and nod, pressing one hand to the centre of Cami’s chest. “It’s okay,” I tell her quietly. “It will hurt, but only for a little bit. And then we can go home.”
She cries louder. I’m not surprised. ‘Going home’ is a pretty shitty incentive, in this case. What does she have at home? No mother, no cot, no toys—just three bachelors and a bloody car seat.
Thispoorgirl.
Beth tries to distract Cami, kneeling next to the table and popping kisses on her stomach while I stroke back the strands of hair clinging to her wet cheeks. She screams even louder. “It’s okay,” I tell her again. “You’ll be fine. I promise. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
Cami looks up at me, her eyes red and teary, then buries her face in my shirt. I don’t know if she’s hiding, or she wants comfort, or she’s waiting for me to pick her up. Either way, I can feel the blood draining out of my face. I can’t do this. Ican’t.
“Cy?” Beth puts a hand on my arm. “Hey, do you need to sit down? Are you scared of needles?”
I grit my teeth. “No.”
“You’re all white.”