“No!” Cyrus says suddenly. “That’s not for you, ladybug!”
I look down to see Cami sticking her hand in my gravy. She licks it off, then smiles up at me, her pink cheeks smeared with pureed carrot, her little pigtails lopsided.
My chest fills with so much love I can barely breathe. I close my eyes. Sunlight warms my back. Someone kisses my cheek, but I don’t know who.
Three boyfriends, shut-down ovaries, and a secret doorstep baby are hardly what I envisioned when I used to imagine my future family. But right now, they’re more than enough.
So much more.
Epilogue
Eighteen Months Later
On the second Sunday in March, I wake up in an empty bed. I stretch, patting around the pillows for a warm body to cuddle into, and find nothing.
Which is odd. Normally I’m the first up. Maybe the second, if Cami decides she needs her breakfast at some ungodly hour, or Seb has an international phone call he needs to take. But I don’t even remember the last time I woke up without at least one of my men sprawled in the bed with me.
I sit up, looking around the master bedroom. When we first moved in here, it was sophisticated and elegant: all glossy white walls and hardwood floors. In the last year and a half, however, it’s been thoroughly Cami-fied. There are toys and story books piled up on the floor, and tiny clothes draped over the back of the armchair. The walls are covered with drawings and framed photographs. I smile as I let my eyes drift over them. There’s one of Cami and Seb in the kitchen, stirring a bowl of cake mixture on Jack’s birthday. One of us all at the swimming pool, splashing each other while Cami sits on Cyrus’s shoulders in her little pink armbands. One from last winter, of me and Cami making snow angels in the park. Cyrus’s little sister is in the background, beaming at her tiny niece.
It took a while, but all of the boys eventually told their families about me and Cami.Jack’s parents welcomed us both with open arms. They might be rigidly sport-obsessed, but they have surprisingly relaxed views about relationships. And they’resoproud of Jack. When he sat them down and actually explained to them what he did for work, they were over the moon. His mum texts me every day, asking for help solving a new level. She’s not very phone-savvy, but she’s still determined to play every one of her son’s games. It’s very sweet.
Cyrus hasn’t invited his parents to visit, but his sisters drop in and out of the house whenever they like. They’re all enamoured with Cami. Lucy finally got to hook up with Hunky Harry, and they promptly got pregnant, so she’s always dragging him over to ‘practise’ looking after a kid.
We’ve seen Ellen and Steve once since our disastrous visit up to Macclesfield. They came to dinner a few weeks after we moved house. I’d hoped that they would apologise for their behaviour, but they were just as rude and abrasive as last time. I endured roughly thirty minutes of them smack-talking Seb and Cami, before I gave up and ordered them both to leave. I’m not letting them come into my house and degrade the people I love. It’s not good for Seb, and it’s certainly not a good environment for Cami.
I see Carl and the twins pretty often, too; whenever he comes to London for work. Sarah never visits, but I don’t care. I don’t want to see her anyway. It’s an odd family we’ve built ourselves, but in a lot of ways, it’s better than a blood family. We only surround ourselves with people that really care about us. We don’t have to love anybody who doesn’t love us back.It’s the kind of family I used to dream of as a child.
I hear low voices coming from the kitchen and slide out of bed, grabbing my dressing gown and toeing my feet into my bunny slippers. I need my morning cuddles, stat.
I pad down the hallway and put my hand on the kitchen door handle, but before I can turn it, the door swings open. Jack steps in front of me, blocking my path.
“Hey, baby,” I smile up at him.
He always looks adorable first thing in the morning, with his blue eyes all sleepy behind his glasses. He hasn’t shaved yet, and gold stubble glints on his jaw. I pop up onto my tiptoes for a quick kiss, then try to duck under his arm. “I need caffeine, please.”
He steps in my path. “You can’t go in there,” he declares.
I blink up at him. “Why not? I just want some coffee.”
“We… uh.” He looks behind him. There’s a sudden loud clatter from inside the kitchen. “I was trying to make pancakes. But I screwed up and burned them.”
I try to look over his shoulder. He’s over a foot taller than me, so it doesn’t really work. “Really? It’s probably not that bad. I don’t smell burning.”
Jack hesitates. “I mean, I exploded them. Not burned. Exploded. I get those words mixed up sometimes.”
I frown. “How did you explode a pancake—”
“I used the mixer and got batter everywhere,” he says quickly. “Absolute carnage. Seb’s trying to get it off the ceiling tiles right now.”
“That’s okay, babe. I can help clean it up.” I try to push past him.
He grabs my shoulders, pushing me back. “I’m afraid that’s not possible,” he says, wide-eyed. “It’s too shameful. You’ll fall out of love with me immediately. For the sake of our relationship, you cannot go in there.”
I sigh. “Jack, what’s going on? I just want a coffee, I don’t give a shit if you spilled some batter.”
He looks panicked. “Look, just—”
Seb appears in the doorway and hands Jack two mugs of coffee without a word. Relief floods Jack’s face. He pushes them at me. “There we go. Lovely coffee. Cy’s in the living room, you should take it to him.”