He cups my face with both hands and frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“Sierra’s 21stbirthday,” I whisper. “I… I came to your room at night. We’d both been drinking too much, but it didn’t matter. The drinks were exactly what I needed to gather my courage. At that point, we’d been informally engaged. Your grandmother and my parents had both agreed on it, but you and I hadn’t discussed it. We’d both just kind of been dancing around the subject, and you’d been treating me the same way you treated Sierra, the way you’d always treated me, with playful kindness, and nothing more. I… I came to your room that night to ask what you thought of me and our engagement.”
He stares at me wide-eyed. “What?”
I draw a shaky breath and force myself to face him. “I tried to kiss you, and you told me that I didn’t know what I was asking for…”
“—and you replied that you weren’t as innocent as I thought you were.”
I nod, my heart skipping a beat. “You… you remember?”
He shakes his head. “No, but I’ve dreamed of this night. I’ve been dreaming about you for years, Raven.” He tightens his grip on my hair and tilts my face up. “Even when you were the last woman I ever should’ve desired, you kept my dreams captive.”
My eyes fall closed as sorrow fills my broken heart. “I gave you my virginity that night, Ares. You told me that there’d be no going back from that point onwards, and I believed you. You asked me to marry you, and the very next day, you announced that you were dating mysister.”
He drops his forehead to mine and inhales deeply. “Raven,” he pleads. “The next morning, I… I woke up with Hannah in my bed.”
I push against his chest, my stomach clenching. “W-what?”
He refuses to let me go and nods, his eyes reflecting the torment I feel. “I remember waking up with a smile on my face, wanting more of you. I turned over, and Hannah was in my bed, naked. She smiled at me and told me that she’d enjoyed every second of the previous night. She convinced me that the woman I slept with that night was her. Tell me the truth, Raven. Was it really you?”
I sniff as tears escape my eyes. “Yes.” My voice breaks. “It was me, Ares. I sneaked out of your room at dawn and went back to Sierra’s room to freshen up, and by the time I came down for breakfast, you were sitting there with your arm around her, telling everyone you were dating. Itbrokeme.”
His hands roam over my body, and he lifts me up against the wall. I wrap my legs around him to hold myself up, feeling more vulnerable than I ever have before.
“When I woke up with her, I knew I lost my chance with you, Raven. I knew I could never have you after sleeping with your sister. I was as hurt as you were, Cupcake. The one I wanted was never her. It’s always been you. Only you.”
I burst into tears, and he takes his time to kiss each and every one of them away. “Ares, a few days later I tried to talk to you about it. Do you remember? You were in the living room at Grandma’s, and I asked you when you got together with Hannah, and what it’d mean for our engagement. I asked you if you ever felt anything for me, and if I ever meant anything to you at all.” I sniff, tears falling uncontrollably. “I still remember the way my voice trembled, the fear I felt as I voiced those questions. You looked at me with such pity and shot me down. You said that you considered mefamily,and that you were going to ask Grandma to break our engagement, because you’d never see me as anything but Hannah’s sister.” Ares tightens his grip on me, but I can’t face him. “You broke my heart, and I never recovered. Throughout the years, the two of you continued to make stabs at my heart, and I can’t take much more. I can’t do it, Ares. I’m begging you, please stop destroying what’s left of me.”
He cups my cheek and forces me to face him, his eyes filled with the same anguish I feel. “I love you,” he tells me. “I loved you then, and I love you now. Hell, if I’m truly honest with myself, I never stopped.”
He leans in, his lips brushing over mine as he kisses me, his touch filled with desperation. “I thought I lost my chance with you, Raven. I did what I could to ensure I could keep you in our lives.”
He drops his forehead to mine and inhales shakily. “Throughout the years, I took as much as you’d give me, finding any excuse to spend some time with you. I’d attend fashion shows under the guise of having to network, just so I could catch a glimpse of you. Most of the time, I could even fool myself, telling myself I was just looking out for you when it was so much more than that. It was wrong and deep down I knew it, but I couldn’t stay away. I told myself that it’d be okay so long as I never crossed the line, butfuck, being around you and not having you… yeah, that fucking killed me. I swear to you, I’ll spend the rest of our lives making up for lost time. Hannah won’t get away with this — I swear it. Raven, I will never hurt you again.”
He kisses me, his touch different this time. It feels far more emotional, more desperate. “Baby,” he groans, his hands moving to my ass. “I love you, Raven.”
I thread my hands through his hair and grip tightly. “I love you too, Ares. I always have.”
“I’ll never let you go again,” he promises me, his lips pressed against my neck.
I reach between us and wrap my hand around his cock, placing it right where I want it. He looks into my eyes as he pushes into me, taking his time.
“I’ll never walk away. You’re it for me, baby. No matter what,” he vows.
He pushes into me all the way, and I cry out. Ares fucks me against the wall in our shower, his eyes on mine, and for a few moments, it’s like nothing else matters. The whole world melts away until it’s just me and him. I let myself believe that we can make it through anything, that nothing could ever tear us apart.
I should’ve known better.
ChapterSixty-Three
Raven
* * *
I walk into the kitchen to find Hannah sitting by the breakfast bar, dark circles marring her beautiful face. She looks up at me, her eyes filled with defeat. She knows. There’s no doubt in my mind that Ares confronted her about what she did five years ago.
She huffs and looks away as she picks up her teacup, her hands trembling. I wish I had the energy to keep up the facade, but I don’t. After what Ares told me last night, I can barely stand to look at her. How am I supposed to allow her into my life, knowing how much she took from me? “Why did you do it?” I ask, unable to keep the question buried.