What does this even mean for us? Would this child be my niece or nephewandmy stepchild? Would we co-parent? Or… would he want to give their relationship another shot for the sake of their child? I know how much family means to him. He wouldn’t want his son or daughter to grow up in a broken home. He won’t accept only being able to see his child on weekends.
“Raven?”
I look up to find the doctor has left the room. How long have I been sitting on the sofa, trapped in my thoughts?
“Where is Hannah?”
“She’s lying down in the guest room.” Ares kneels in front of the sofa and grabs my hands, holding on tightly. “Are you okay?”
I look into his eyes and force a smile on my face. “Congratulations,” I say, my voice breaking. “You’re going to be a father.” I swallow down my sorrow and inhale shakily. I’ve dreamed of saying those very same words to him someday, but it’d be me who was pregnant. Having a family with Ares is something I’ve only just started to dream of, and it feels like she’s stolen yet another one of my dreams.
I pull my hand out of his and cross my arms as I stare out the window behind him, my heart bleeding. “Did you cheat on me, Ares?”
He cups my cheek and turns my face back to his. “No,” he says, looking into my eyes. He looks as tormented as I feel. “Never. I never will either. This won’t change anything for us unless you want it to.”
I stare at him, taking in his sharp jaw and those beautiful green eyes. Will his child have his eyes? His smile?
“Give me a moment of honesty, Ares. Do youwantthis to change things between us? Are you phrasing it that way because you want me to be the bigger person and walk away? Are you asking me to do what you won’t, so you don’t have to feel guilty for choosing your child and its mother over me?”
His eyes widen, and he grabs both of my hands. “Moment of honesty,” he replies. “I’m silently praying that you’ll tell me that this doesn’t impact us, and that we’ll find a way to get through this together. I was so proud of you for standing your ground and cutting Hannah off, and now we’re forced to accept her into our lives in ways that we both deemed unimaginable. I’m scared of hurting you, of asking too much. I don’t know what the right thing to do is, so I need you to tell me.”
I nod and look away. “I wish I knew,” I whisper. “I wish I had the right words for you right now, but I don’t. The only thing I do know is that it can’t be the child that suffers. I’ll be there for you, Ares, in whatever capacity you need. I’ll raise this child with you, if that’s what you want. There’s no doubt in my mind that I love you, and though it might be hard, I know I’ll love your daughter or son the same. What I don’t know is if I can survive having Hannah in our lives.”
He nods and lays his head on my lap, his arms wrapped around my waist. I should’ve known better than to think I finally got my ownHappily Ever After. Happiness has always been out of reach for me.Areshas always been out of reach.
ChapterFifty-Nine
Ares
* * *
I look up when Hannah walks into our kitchen, dark circles underneath her eyes. I stare at her in disbelief. Is she truly carrying my child? She was so adamant that we wouldn’t have children for at least a couple more years, so how could this have happened?Whendid this happen? In the weeks leading up to our wedding, all we did was argue. I can’t even remember the last time I slept with her. It only could’ve been that one time that I got drunk shortly after I had Raven in my lap. I woke up with Hannah in my bed, when it’s Raven I wanted.
Hannah takes a seat at the breakfast bar, and the smile on her face grates on me. There’s something so smug about it, as though she feels like she’s won some sort of game. It wouldn’t surprise me if that’s exactly how it feels for her. All she does is play with people’s lives.
“Where is Raven?”
I grit my teeth. I don’t like hearing my wife’s name come out of her mouth. It raises every protective instinct in me and leaves me feeling helpless. I’d destroy her if I could, but she’s become even more untouchable to me now. Not only is she my wife’s sister, she’s also the mother of my child — supposedly.
“She’s at work. She barely slept and rushed out early in the morning.”
Hannah nods. “It must be hard for her, to know that we’re having a baby together. I can imagine that now, even more so, she regrets marrying you.”
My heart squeezes painfully as fear nips at me. When I spoke to her, we seemed to be on the same page, but for how long? It took all of her to cut ties with Hannah, and now this? Just being around Hannah breaks Raven’s heart. What will this pregnancy do to her? I’ve never felt this much hatred and helplessness. No amount of power or money can save us from the pain we’re about to face. Can I bear seeing my wife cry herself to sleep each time Hannah hurts her feelings? What if she ends up turning our child against Raven too? It’d break her heart, over and over again, foryears.
“Are we?” I ask. “Are we having a baby together? Is the child mine?”
Hurt flashes through her eyes, and I sigh. I can’t tell what’s real with her. I have no idea if she’s acting, but I wouldn’t put it past her.
Tears fill her eyes, and she places a hand on her stomach. “Of course, Ares. What… how could you…” she looks away, a tear running down her face. “Raven has truly made you hate me, hasn’t she? How did she do it? How did she unravel a love that lasted years, in the span of a few months?”
I ball my fist as I suppress the urge to snap at her. “She hasn’t,” I say, my voice calm. “No one has the power to make another stop loving someone, Hannah. She didn’t steal me away from you. You and I were done long before you chose to walk away. What you and I had… it was born out of obligation.”
“And what you have with her isn’t?”
I look away and shake my head. “No. It’s different with her. I had no intention of making it work with her. If anything, I wanted to give her as much freedom as she possibly could’ve wanted. I had no expectations when it came to Raven, yet over time, I found myself wanting more and more of her.” I look into her eyes and inhale deeply. “I think you know as well as I do that what I have with her was years in the making. I just didn’t realize it.”
Genuine pain flashes through her eyes, and she flinches. “Is this really what it’s going to be like, Ares? Is our child going to grow up with parents that can’t even have one single conversation that isn’t drenched in mutual resentment?”