I bite down on my lip as I think back to the way he teased me. He played my body expertly, slowly pushing me further and further while pretending to do nothing but massaging, until I couldn’t hold on anymore.
I run a hand through my hair and clench my thighs, trying my best to keep my mind off Ares and failing miserably. With each passing day, I crave him more.
A soft knock sounds on my door, and I look up in surprise. “Raven?” A chill runs down my spine when Hannah walks into my office. “Hi,” she says softly. She hesitates for a moment before walking over to the seat in front of my desk. She sits down opposite me and smiles.
“Hi,” I repeat, my response delayed.
Hannah looks exhausted and heartbroken, more so than I’ve ever seen her look before, and it fills me with overwhelming guilt.
“I’m sorry,” she says, her voice so soft that I nearly missed it. “I… I should’ve come to see you sooner, Rave. I haven’t been in a good state of mind recently. I guess it took me a bit of time to think everything through, you know? When I walked away from Ares, I just… I guess I didn’t quite realize what I was doing. I’d postponed the wedding so many times, and I’d gotten away with it. I thought it’d be the same this time.”
I look down at my lap and inhale deeply. “But it wasn’t.”
“No,” she says. “It wasn’t.”
I force myself to look up and face her. “I told you, Han. I begged you to reconsider.”
“I know. Iknow, Rave. What do you want me to say? That you were right?”
I shake my head and look away. “No, Hannah. Of course not.”
“You’re mad at me too, aren’t you?”
I bite down on my lip and shake my head. “I was, initially. Now? I don’t even know how I’m feeling now. I guess I’m just hurt and disappointed. You may have broken Ares’s heart, Hannah, but you broke mine too. You didn’t listen to any of my concerns and played with my life without any regard for my wishes and dreams. Do you have any idea how used and manipulated I feel? You’re my big sister, Han. You’re the one person in this world that’s supposed to look out for me, yet you never did.Never.”
“Raven, you know that isn’t true. Wasn’t I the one who got you your first modeling gig?”
I look her in the eye and smile in disbelief. “No, Hannah. All you did was bring me with you to one of your premieres. I was scouted and signed without any endorsements from you.”
She sighs and waves her hand. “You wouldn’t have been there without me, but forget it. That isn’t the point. I’m just trying to say that I do try to look out for you in my own way.”
I shake my head. “Not everything can always beyour way, Han. You don’t get to decide whether I feel like you’re there for me.”
“So youaremad at me.” Her tone is accusatory, and I shake my head in defeat. Why do I even bother?
“Why are you here, Hannah?”
She looks around my office and smiles. “The last time I was here, I was trying on my wedding dress. I didn’t even get to wear it in the end.”
I grit my teeth and look away. Just thinking about her dress is bittersweet to me. I put so much love and work into her wedding gown, yet wearing it brought me so much pain.
Hannah looks at me with an insincere smile on her face. “I bet it looked beautiful on you, though.”
I stare at the design in front of me, unsure how to even reply to that. Just seeing her makes me feel conflicted. It reminds me that every moment I share with Ares should’ve been hers.
“Is he nice to you, Rave? Does he treat you well?”
I look up, hesitating for a moment as I think back to the way he touched me last night. Guilt unlike anything I’ve ever felt before hits me hard, and I look away, suddenly feeling sick.
“I’m worried about you. He’s a good man, but I’m worried he’ll take his anger at me out on you.”
I cross my arms and lean back in my seat. “Ares and I have always been friends,” I tell her, my voice soft. “That hasn’t changed. He’s still as nice to me as he’s always been.”
Something flashes in Hannah’s eyes, but it’s gone before I can identify it. “That’s good. I’m glad.”
She looks away, both of us falling silent for a moment. There’s so much left unsaid between us, but neither of us has the courage to ask the questions that need to be voiced.
“I know that the Windsors value marriage above almost everything else,” she says cautiously. “Ares is no different. There’s nothing he won’t do out of loyalty, regardless of his feelings.”