My heart aches as I turn my back to my mother and walk away. Every time I see Mom, I feel like a horrible person, and I end up hating myself. I should be happy for Hannah, and I should feel honored that I’m being included in the wedding to this extent… but I hate it. I hate the person I become when I’m at home. I’m never this desperate for attention or acknowledgement, and though it hurts me to see her with Ares, I’ve never resented her for having his love. Yet each time I’m at home, my head fills with awful thoughts.
What if the one Ares was marrying was me?
What if I never took her to Sierra’s birthday party?
What if I refused to help with the wedding?
What if I made a move on Ares and stole him away?
I’m better than this, but each time I come home, I turn into the most pathetic version of myself.
“Sweetheart?”
I look up at my father, and he sighs knowingly. “Let me walk you out, sweet girl.”
I nod and take the arm my dad is offering me. We’re both quiet as he walks me to the sports car that Ares helped me pick out.
Dad opens the door for me and hesitates. “I love you, Raven,” he says. “Your mother does too, but she just isn’t as good at conveying that.”
I bite down on my lip for a moment. “She has no problem conveying her love for Hannah.”
Dad reaches for my hair and pushes it behind my ear gently. “I know,” he murmurs. “Mom feels the need to be so vocal about it because of how rough Hannah had it when she was young. Your mother thinks that she can make up for all the pain Hannah endured when she was sick by showering her with love now. It’s more for her than it is for Hannah, and it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you just as much.”
I nod, unwilling to discuss this any further. I don’t want Dad to pity me, or to reassure me because he feels he should. For a change, I don’t want to be comforted with lies.
I rise to my tiptoes and press a kiss to my father’s cheek. “Love you, Dad.”
“You drive safe, okay? Send me a text message when you get home. I know how to use those emotions things now. I’ll send you a thumbs up back.”
“Emojis?” I ask, giggling.
“That’s the ones.”
“Good for you, Dad. I’ll send you an emoji in the shape of a house when I get home, okay?”
“It’ll be our secret language.” He winks at me, and I just about manage to keep from laughing as I step into the car.
This. This is why I keep coming home, despite my mother’s attitude. Because Dad is right. Deep down, they do love me. Maybe not as much as they love Hannah, but I learned long ago to be okay with that.
I’ll never measure up to my older sister. Not in my parents’ eyes, and certainly never in Ares’s eyes.
ChapterFour
Ares
* * *
I tighten my grip on my phone and take a calming breath. “Hannah, you promised me we’d go together. This is the third time this month you’re canceling on me at the very last second. Couldn’t you at least have given me some adequate notice?”
The phone rustles and Hannah sighs. “I’m sorry, Ares. I really wanted to be there tonight, you know that. I wanted to support Ravenandbe there with you, but I just can’t get away. I need to retake some scenes, and it just hasn’t been going too well.”
“It’s always the same excuses, Hannah. I’m trying to be as supportive as I can be, but you’re making it really difficult. I can’t always be the one who makes compromises.”
“I know,” she says, her voice soft. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“Is this because you don’t want to be seen or photographed with me? Hannah, we’re getting married in amonth. Don’t forget about our agreement. The moment we’re married, we’re taking our relationship public, so what’s the harm in us being captured together tonight?”
“Ares, it isn’t that. I promise, it isn’t. I’m taking so much time off for the wedding that I just really want to work extra hard to make up for it. I don’t want to be the reason we fall behind on schedule.”