Bella was already red-eyed as she came in, because he'd made it clear what was going on. Her hellren was right behind her, carrying their snoozing daughter in his huge arms, his scarred face grim.
"Sister mine," Rehv said as he took Bella into his arms. While holding her loosely, he clapped palms with Zsadist. "I'm glad you're here, my man."
Z nodded his skull-trimmed head. "Me too."
Bella pulled back and wiped her eyes quickly. "Is she up in bed?"
"Yeah, and her doggen is with her."
Bella took hold of her daughter, and then Rehv led the way upstairs. At the bedroom doors, he knocked on the jamb first and waited as his mother and her faithful servant got prepared.
"How bad is she?" Bella whispered.
Rehv looked down at his sister, thinking that this was one of the few situations where he could see himself not being as strong for her as he wanted to be.
His voice was hoarse. "It's time."
Bella's eyes squeezed together just as their mahmen said in a wobbly voice, "Come in."
As Rehv opened one side of the doors, he heard Bella's sharp inhale, but more than that he sensed her emotional grid: Sadness and panic intertwined with each other, doubling up and redoubling until a solid box was formed. It was a footprint of feelings that he saw only at funerals. And didn't that make tragic sense.
"Mahmen," Bella said as she went to the bedside.
As Madalina held her arms out, her face was suffused with happiness. "My loves, my dearest loves."
Bella bent down and kissed their mother's cheek, then transferred Nalla's weight with care. As their mother didn't have the strength to hold the young, a spare pillow was positioned to support Nalla's neck and head.
Their mother's smile glowed. "Look at her face... She shall be a great beauty, indeed." She lifted a skeletal hand toward Z. "And the proud papa, who looks after his females with such strength and fortitude."
Zsadist came over and clasped what was extended to him, bowing down and brushing her knuckles with his forehead, as was custom between mothers and sons-in-law. "I shall always keep them safe."
"Indeed. Of that I am well sure." Their mother smiled up at the fierce warrior who seemed totally out of place among the lace draped around the bed-but then her strength lagged and she let her head fall to the side.
"My greatest joy," she whispered as she stared at her grandchild.
Bella eased a hip onto the mattress and gently rubbed her mother's knee. The silence in the room became soft as down, a cocoon of quiet that eased over all of them and relieved the tension.
There was only one good thing in all this: An easy death that happened in the right order was as much a blessing as a long, easy life.
Their mother hadn't had the latter. But Rehv was going to keep his promise and make sure the peace in this room was kept well after she was gone.
Bella leaned into her daughter and whispered, "Sleepyhead, wake up for Granhmen."
When Madalina brushed the young's cheek softly, Nalla awoke with a coo. Yellow eyes as bright as diamonds focused on the old, lovely face before her, and the young smiled and reached out chubby hands. As the infant gripped her grandmother's finger, Madalina lifted her gaze and peered up over the next generation at Rehv. In her stare, she begged him.
And he gave her exactly what she needed. Putting his fist over his heart, he bowed ever so slightly, taking his vow once more.
His mother blinked, tears trembling on her lashes, and the wave of her gratitude reached him in a rush. Although he couldn't feel the warmth of it, he knew by the way he could allow his sable duster to fall open that his core temperature had just risen.
Knew also that he would do anything to keep his promise. A good death wasn't just quick and painless. A good death meant you were leaving your world in order, that you passed unto the Fade with the satisfaction that your loved ones were well cared for and safe, and that although they had to go through the mourning process, you were certain you had left nothing unsaid or undone.
Or nothing said, as was the case here.
It was the greatest gift he could give the mother who had raised him in a manner better than he deserved, the only way he could repay the circumstances of his cruel birth.
Madalina smiled and released a long, grateful breath.
And all was as it needed to be.
Chapter THIRTY-FIVE
John Matthew came awake with his H amp;K pointed at the opening door across Xhex's barren room. His heart rate was as calm as his steady palm, and even when the lights came on, he didn't blink. If he didn't like the looks of whoever had sprung the lock and twisted the knob, he was going to put a bullet right through whatever chest presented itself.
"Easy," Xhex said as she came inside and shut them in together. "It's just me."
He put the safety back on and lowered the muzzle.
"I'm impressed," she murmured as she leaned back against the jamb. "You wake up like a fighter."
Standing across the way, her powerful body relaxed, she was the most attractive female he had ever seen. Which meant that unless she wanted what he wanted, he had to go. Fantasies were fine, but flesh was better, and he didn't think he could keep himself away from her.
John waited. And waited. Neither of them moved.
Right. Time to leave before he made an ass out of himself.
He started to shift his legs off her bed, but she shook her head. "No, stay where you are."
Okaaaay. But that meant he needed some camo.
Reaching for his coat, he dragged the leather across his lap, because his gun wasn't the only thing ready for use. As usual, he had a hard-on, which was standard-issue for the wakey-wakey shit-as well as a problem whenever he was within range of her.
"I'll be right out," she said, dropping her black jacket and heading for the bathroom.
The door shut and his mouth slacked open.
Could this be...it?
He smoothed down his hair, tucked in his shirt, and quickly shifted around his cock. Which was now not just hard, but throbbing. Looking down at the length straining against the fly of his A amp;F jeans, he tried to point out to the thing that she might be staying, but that didn't necessarily mean she had any interest in using his hips for buck-off practice.
Xhex came back out a little later and paused by the light switch. "You have anything against the dark?"
He shook his head slowly.
The room plunged into black and he heard her moving toward the bed.
Heart pounding, c**k on fire, John quickly hustled over, leaving her plenty of room. As she lay down, he felt every nuance of the mattress shifting, heard the soft brush of her hair as it hit the pillow, knew the scent of her deep in his nose.
He couldn't breathe.
Even as she sighed in relaxation.
"You're not afraid of me," she said quietly.
He shook his head even though she couldn't see him.
"You're hard."
Oh, God, he thought. Yes, he was.
Momentary panic flared, a jackal jumping out of the bush and snarling at him. Fuck him, but it was hard to decide what would be worse: Xhex reaching for him and him losing his erection-like he had with the Chosen Layla on the night of his transition. Or Xhex not reaching for him at all.
She settled the coin toss by turning toward him and putting her hand on his chest.
"Easy," she said as he jumped.
After he settled, her touch moved down his stomach, and when she cupped his c**k through his jeans, he arched up off the bed, mouth opening to release a silent groan.
There was no preamble, but he didn't want any at all. She undid the fly, sprang his arousal, and then there was shifting and the sound of her leathers hitting the floor.
She mounted him, planting her palms on his pecs, pushing him down into the mattress. As something warm and soft and wet rubbed against him, he didn't worry at all about going limp. His body was raging to get inside of her, nothing of the past coming through his mating instincts.
Xhex rose onto her knees, took him in her hand, and stood him up. When she sat down, he felt a delicious, tight pressure along the sides of his cock, the electric compression kicking off an orgasm that had him punching his hips up. Without thinking whether it was okay, he grabbed onto her thighs-
He froze as he felt metal, but then he was too far gone. All he could do was squeeze with his hands as he shuddered again and again, losing his virginity over and over.
It was the most amazing thing he'd ever felt. He knew from hand jobs. Had worked himself out a thousand times since his transition. But this blew all of what he'd done out of the park. Xhex was indescribable.