“You okay, baby?”
She nods her head, her eyes not quite meeting mine.
“I missed you today.”
She laughs then. “You came in for lunch.”
I rub my hand up and down her leg. “The girls said you didn’t ride Patches today. You feeling all right?”
It’s like everything stops. She takes a deep breath, and we’re in a gridlock staring at each other. She’s nervous, and I hate that. I don’t ever want her to be nervous to tell me something, but I also know if she says what I think she’s about to say, I’m going to lose it.
“Yeah, I’m feeling fine,” she mutters before looking away.
She leans back against the headboard, and I move my hand to rub her belly. She’s staring at my hand, and with my other one, I brush the hair from her face. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
I hold my breath because I know it’s coming. I thought her breasts felt heavier last week and again last night. I knew she’d been tired more. I saw all the signs, but I chose to ignore them instead of asking her about them.
“Austin, I don’t want you upset.”
Finally, her eyes meet mine.
“You’re pregnant,” I accuse her. “We said we were going to wait.”
She stubbornly lifts her chin. “Yeah, well, it takes two…”
“I know, Millie. I’m not blaming you, but I also can’t watch you go through that again.”
Where she was mad a second ago, she softens instantly. “I’m going to be fine.”
“You could barely walk, you were in pain constantly… I just can’t watch you go through that again.”
She shakes her head. “Austin, it was pelvic girdle pain. It’s not a death sentence. It’s a little pain… and look at what we got for it. Two beautiful girls.”
“I wouldn’t trade the girls for anything, but you know it was more than just a little pain.”
“Yeah, and the doctor said we can catch it early this time if I do have it again. I’ve been doing the exercises to strengthen my pelvic muscles. We’re going to be ready this time.”
“How did this even happen? I thought we were being careful.”
“I think it was that night two months ago when the girls went and stayed at Dad’s.”
I think back to that night, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I let my foreman take care of the ranch for a straight twenty-four hours. We sent the girls to their grandparents’ house, and I kept Millie in bed almost the whole time. I meant to be careful, but I know there were a couple of times that I forgot to take precautions.
Lost in thought, I don’t notice that Millie is about to cry until a tear rolls down her cheek. “Honey, don’t cry.”
“I want you to be happy about this, Austin. We made this,” she says, rubbing her belly. “This little guy is a part of us. He needs us.”
I put my hands on each side of her cheek. “I am happy about this. I’m scared, and I hate for you to be in pain. I’m going to take care of everything. You’re going to lie around the house and stay off your feet, and Carrie will take care of the girls…”
“Austin…” she says, shaking her head.
“No, this is how it’s going down, Millie. I need you. More than anything in this world, I need you. I won’t be able to go on living without you, and I need to take care of you.”
I wait for her to argue and disagree with me. She stares back at me for the longest time before she finally nods her head. “Okay.”
“Okay? You mean you’ll stay off your feet?”
“I mean I’ll do whatever the doctor tells me I need to do.” She pats my chest. “You know I love you just as much, Austin. That’s why I’m so excited about this. I know it’s a boy… I just know it. We’re going to have a son.”