“You don’t want to know.” I shake my head, remembering too late that he wasn’t asking about Sierra, he was asking about the quote for Violet. “I mean the quote is fine. I’ll drop it off this afternoon. Pretty cut and dried.”
I walk past him and drop into the desk next to his.
Sam is watching me, no doubt wondering if he should ask me what’s wrong or not. He’s been walking on eggshells ever since I got back, and even though I probably need to talk to someone about Sierra, I’m not ready to yet. I’m not entirely sure why I’m so upset about the whole situation. It’s not like I did anything wrong, really. But the fact I hurt her, even without meaning to, is weighing heavily on me. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I tell him before he decides to ask me about it.
Sam blows out a breath. “Okay then. Well, we got a call from the city while you were out. They are wanting to update the security cameras in their city operated buildings.”
I sit up, paying more attention now. “Like the library? When do we start?”
His forehead creases. “Yeah, the library, the courthouse, city hall, the civic center... and we start tomorrow.”
“I want the library,” I tell him, not even considering beating around the bush. I have to find a way to talk to Sierra, make things right.
Sam has the gall to laugh. “Ahh, so you’ve seen Sierra, I take it?”
My whole body tenses up. Surely my older brother doesn’t have a thing for the pretty librarian. If he does, I’ll be nipping that in the bud. “What do you know about Sierra?”
He crosses his arms over his chest with a smirk. “Like you don’t know?”
Really confused now, I ask, “Know what?”
He shakes his head. “Well, let’s see, where do I start? She’s liked you since high school...”
“She has not!”
He barks a laugh that echoes in the room and then rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right. She was a nerd—”
“Hey!” I say, instantly taking offense to that.
He shakes his head. “There’s nothing wrong with it. But even knowing that, she came to every one of your games and couldn’t take her eyes off you. She started coming around the house, helping Mom in the garden, talking to her about books. I mean, hello. She’s sent you care packages for the last four years.”
My mind starts to race. I don’t remember her coming over to the house. “She was never at our house.”
“All. The. Time. She would sit and wait, just hoping to get a glimpse of you. I felt bad for her actually, but you were always at practices or hanging out with your girlfriend or your jock friends. You didn’t even notice her.”
I get up and start pacing the room. Is he right? Did Sierra like me in high school? Is that why she sent the care packages with the sweet notes? I run my hand through my hair. Did I ruin any chance I have with her by opening my big, fat stupid mouth?
“The library... I’m starting it today.”
He moves and stops in front of me. “The contract starts tomorrow.”
I grit my teeth. “If they have a problem with it, I’ll pay for it out of my own pocket. I’m starting it today.”
He wants to argue with me, and I don’t blame him. He’s been the boss here since I left, and he’s let me come in after four years away and be his partner. I’m probably pushing it, but I have to at least try and talk to Sierra today. If I go over there to apologize, she’s going to run me off. But if I’m working on something that the city ordered to be done, she’ll have no choice but to deal with me, and hopefully I can explain.
“Fine.” Sam sighs, moving out of my way. “Just don’t upset her. She’s a good woman, Evan.”
I nod but can’t look him in the eye. I’ve already fucked it up and upset her earlier, but I’m going to make it right. I grab my equipment and head back across the street and into the library.
She’s sitting behind the desk this time, and I walk straight up to her. She pops up when she sees me, and it’s obvious she’s already looking around, wondering how she can get away from me. “Hey, Sierra.”
She fidgets her hands in front of her but juts her chin at me. “Hello, Evan. Is there something I can help you with?”
I hold up my notebook, as if I have the contract in it when I don’t. “Yeah, the city made an order for us to update the security equipment.”
She breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh, okay. Well, I’ll let you get to it then.”
She’s walking to the edge of her desk, and she’s going to escape, I know she is, but I’m quicker than her. It’s the quickest I’ve moved in a while. Since I started having vertigo I’ve had to really slow down my movements and be more intentional. But I’m not letting her escape.