I half expect singing woodland creatures to appear and her to break into song. From everything I’ve heard, West and Cassie are practically a fairytale, except for the ten year wait and all. “I was scared, and he didn’t think I returned his feelings. Love is complicated sometimes.”
“That’s silly,” Peyton insists. “If he really felt something for you all that time, he would have stepped up and told you. Guys don’t hide their feelings and pine for a woman for years.”
That’s when I remember Cassie’s hesitation to define Peyton’s relationship with Ledger in the car. There’s something more beneath the surface. Is Peyton in love with Ledger? Does he return her feelings, or has he hidden his so well that she doesn’t even know?
Cassie puts her hand on Peyton’s shoulder and gives it a firm squeeze. “They do if they don’t think you return them.”
Peyton shakes her head and looks away but not before I see the sheen of tears in them. She blinks and her voice wobbles when she says, “Let’s get dressed again. I’ll spring for burgers at Ernie’s.”
I quickly agree to burgers and retreat to my dressing room. I’ve longed for Micah for a few weeks while Cassie and Peyton have been in love with their cowboys for years. I can’t imagine what kind of pain they both carried. Cassie got her happy ending with West. Maybe in time, Peyton and Ledger will find their way to each other.
Inside the diner is crowded and noisy and for a second, I panic when Abby isn’t with me. I’m so used to having her in my arms or beside me in her car seat. It feels weird to be without her and it surprises me how much I miss her. She’s definitely not a job to me. She feels like a piece of my heart that’s always been missing. So does her father. The realization should scare me, but it doesn’t. Maybe because everything with Micah feels so right.
As soon as we’re settled with our food, Peyton asks about Cassie’s wedding plans. Apparently, she and West are getting married on Christmas Eve. I listen to the two of them talking, wondering the entire time why some marriages make it, and some don’t. Why some men are good and true and will sacrifice everything for their families while others are content to let their wives and kids live in poverty and violence and drunkenness.
Micah doesn’t strike me as that kind of guy. He’s given everything to make the ranch a success. No matter how tired he is when he comes home every day, he still takes time to make silly faces with Abby before asking me what I want for dinner and cooking. He’d even do the dishes afterward if I didn’t shoo him away and insist he go take some time to relax.
“Have you and West talked about where you’re going for the honeymoon?” Peyton asks.
Cassie’s already flushed cheeks darken to an even deeper shade of pink. “He’s taking me to this beautiful ski lodge in Colorado.”
I dip my fry in the special sauce Ernie makes and pop it into my mouth. “That’ll be fun. I’ve never been skiing.”
Peyton laughs from her spot in the booth beside me. “I don’t think she’s going to be doing much skiing.”
Cassie wiggles her eyebrows. “If all goes according to plan, definitely not.”
Oh, shit. I just realized I was imagining a very different kind of honeymoon. I wonder what a honeymoon with Micah would be like and instantly, I feel hot all over. I wonder if he’d be just as growly in bed as he is when he’s marching around the ranch, bossing people around. Would he put my hands above my head and insist that I’m his? Would he feast on me for hours, not letting me up until I’d orgasmed again and again? Would I finally get to see his big cock? Would he be disappointed by my inexperience?
“You and West have only been together for a little while, right?” I ask softly, keeping my gaze on the chipped table. I don’t want my thoughts showing on my face.
“Not even a month officially,” she says.
“And did you...Were you...” This has to be the most embarrassing question in the history of the universe. But I have to know. “Compatible, you know...in the bedroom?”
She chuckles. “I have no complaints and neither does he.”
I keep my voice quiet, not wanting it to carry in the restaurant. “But you were alike in the experience department?”
“I don’t follow,” she says.
I finally force myself to look at her. “I’m not. I don’t. I’m...you know.” I’ve never been ashamed of being a virgin. But what if it’s a turn-off for Micah?
Beside me, Peyton sends Cassie a look. Finally, understanding crosses her expression and I could hug Peyton because I’m so grateful she didn’t make me say it out loud in this crowded diner.
“He just seems a lot more experienced than me,” I offer. What was Abby’s mom like? Were they in love when they got together? He never talks about her, and it worries me. What will he tell Abby one day when she’s older?
“I thought that about West,” she says. “I thought there’d be this huge gap and there wasn’t much of one at all. And I really don’t want to be thinking about my brother like that. But come on, the man eats the same thing for dinner every night and still buys the same brand of toothpaste that he did when we were teenagers. He’s not likely to have...experiencewith lots of women.”
I blow out a breath, my stomach still tight. “I know that. It’s just, I really like him, Cassie. Like rearrange your whole life plans like him. Like seeing your entire future differently. Like wanting to dream new dreams, dreams that scare you.”
“You’re in love with him,” Peyton says.
As soon as she says the words, the rightness of it hits me. I am in love with Micah Kringle, and I don’t know if the thought should terrify or delight me. All I know is it’s too late to protect my heart now.
5
CHLOE