But she didn’t. As much as her body craved his, she thought as she stared out the window at the passing scenery, she knew that wasn’t a solution.
She was alone in the world and always had been. It was something she wished she’d remembered before she let him into her life.
Three
The snow had turned to a wintery mix of rain and sleet, which wasn’t at all romantic or sexy, and he felt like whoever was directing this moment had gotten the setting right. But this wasn’t a film. No one was going to call “cut” and there was no chance he was going to be able to “explain” things to Paisley and tell her it was just a scene.
This waslife.
The one thing he always struggled to make right. So here he was, staring at her profile and trying to find words that would make her look at him. Make her laugh. He wanted to see her smile. It was truly one of the most beautiful things about her, and in his gut, he felt like he wasn’t going to get to see it again.
“So...”
Yeah, he was eloquent. Not.
She turned to face him and he noticed the glimmer of tears in her eyes—he felt like the bastard he’d been told he could be. No matter what his intentions had been, he’d done something unpardonable. And for once the man with the plan had no idea what to do next.
“I can’t do this tonight. I thought I could, but I need time,” she said softly. Leaning forward, she tapped Lyle on the shoulder. “Could you take me home first and then take Mr. O’Neill to his hotel?”
Without turning his head or taking his gaze from the road, Lyle changed lanes. “Of course, ma’am.”
She sat back and crossed her hands in her lap. He noticed how calm she tried to be but he sensed...well, it didn’t take a genius to figure out she was barely holding herself together. But she still looked so gorgeous and sexy. It was all he could do to keep his hands to himself. He knew that the last thing she wanted right now was to be in his arms, yet that was what he wanted. He felt if he held her again, they could figure this out.
“What can I do?” he asked. At this point, all he really could offer was whatever she needed.
“Just leave me alone,” she said.
Her words were well deserved, but they still stung. He had to fix things with Paisley but he had no idea how. “I want to help make this right.”
She gave him a look that would have broken a weaker man.
“I can’t do this right now,” she reiterated. “Give me some space and we can talk later.”
He raked a hand through his hair and nodded. “Yes, of course, we can. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you.”
She shook her head. “Great. I’ve got a man with good intentions who lied to me at my side.”
Then she dropped her head and looked at her clenched hands. “I’m sorry. I know you apologized but I didn’t expect you to lie. How did I not see the signs?”
He knew it was a rhetorical question, but he felt this was the one place where he could help.
“Why would you? Most people aren’t pretending to be someone they aren’t,” he said, hoping to reassure her.
“Are they? Most people are putting on an image that they want to see. Heck, I even do it—successful IT girl, boss babe. When in truth, I’m covering up the hot mess that I truly am,” she said. “But I do try to make sure that I don’t hurt anyone.”
He normally did too. “This situation—”
“Please. I know you have some justifiable truth to tell me and if you let me calm down I might be able to hear it. But at this moment, I can only react as my worst self.”
“That’s okay. I can handle your worst,” he murmured.
“I’m not sureIcan,” she said. “The last time a man did this to me, it took me years to find myself again and I don’t have that luxury this time. I have a business that is on the cusp of going national and I’m not going to let you derail me.”
“Good for you.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “You sound condescending.”
“I’m not trying to be. I don’t want to see you fail. I like your success, I like your dreams and your version of the future,” he said.