He smiled and leaned down to suckle her nipple as he drove himself deep inside her, and not a moment too soon. She stopped thinking about the consequences of keeping silent and just let herself be filled with him, feeling him thrusting into her, and she arched her back to try to take more of him.
She wanted him deeper and harder, and urged him on with whispered demands. He met them. Cupping her butt in his hands to tip up her hips and pounding himself into her again and again until she felt her body start to climax. She cried out his name as she did and he shifted to lift her legs higher as he drove into her at a frantic pace and then he was grunting her name as he came inside of her.
He collapsed against her, his head resting on her chest, his breath brushing over her skin. Basking in their closeness, she put her arms around his shoulders, running her fingers through his hair. And as she held him to her, she knew that whatever other lies she’d been telling herself, she could no longer pretend that she didn’t want Sean in her and the baby’s lives. She closed her eyes and the image of a family that had always sort of eluded her in real life was there.
A family with her and Sean, and the unborn child inside of her.
Paisley licked her lips and fear gripped her hard. She wondered if this was at all how Sean had felt when he knew he had to tell her the truth of his identity. Had he been wracked with guilt and fear or...?
“Were you afraid to lose me?” she asked quietly.
He shifted around, disconnecting their bodies and propping his weight on his elbows as he looked down at her. She saw a brief sort of panicked expression go over his face and then she thought she saw him slip into another character. Not his real self, but someone he thought she wanted him to be.
“No—”
“I thought you said no more secrets.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“And telling me the truth will?” she asked.
“No, but I might not say the right thing.”
She reached up to caress his cheek. “Just be you—that’s the right thing.”
Ten
Be himself. He was always better as one of the leading men he’d played over his lifetime. But Sean had the feeling that anything less than the truth wasn’t going to sit well with either one of them.
“Okay, so...”
It was harder than he expected. He could be blunt and just say that he hadn’t really thought about it. Certainly not after sex. He was tired and wanted to wash up, pull her into his arms and go to sleep.
She quirked an eyebrow, prompting him to continue. “So...”
“I didn’t think about it when we were in bed. I’m pretty much thinking about how you look naked, how good you feel in my arms and how soon can I have you again,” he said. He bent down to kiss her belly because he didn’t want to look at her expression. The room smelled of Christmas potpourri and sex.
He didn’t hate it.
“That’s what you think about when we make love?”
“I wouldn’t exactly say there’s much thinking going on when you are naked and next to me,” he admitted sardonically.
She laughed. “I guess that makes sense.”
He shifted around until he was lying at the head of the bed and pulled her up into his arms, then tucked the corner of the comforter over them. “What’s going through your head, Pais?”
She snuggled closer to him, her hand drawing random patterns in the light dusting of hair on his chest. “The usual stuff. The sex was great, I really like this guy, did I clear my inbox at work, I wonder if he wants a drink—”
“Stop. That’s too much for one person to be thinking.”
“I can’t. My mind is always going,” she said. “But I’m curious how you felt about the secret of your true identity. Did it worry you ever?”
He took a deep breath. She had questions and he wanted to answer them. “Still okay if I just be myself?”
She shifted around, using her hand to brace herself. “Yes, always. Just be Sean.”
“Well, I thought about it when you were worrying about my job prospects. When you kept trying in your quiet way to encourage me to dream bigger. And I knew that my Jack persona wasn’t measuring up in a way that Sean could.”