“Good?”
“Not bad maybe a little more practice later tonight...”
He threw back his head and laughed, and for the first time since that paparazzo had turned their lives upside down, Paisley felt a real sense of joy sparking between them.
They started walking again toward the lights of Michigan Avenue. She realized that this was how they were starting over. There was no easy way to erase the lies between them, but he was slowly showing her the man he was.
It was another layer to the already complex emotions that she had toward him. She knew better than to dwell on this budding relationship. Because right here, right now, she wanted to be in the moment, but she’d always been a chronic planner. Always trying to find the way to safely get to the next thing, and relationships didn’t work that way.
Especially when a baby was involved. Her stomach clenched. How in the world was she going to raise a child? Would she be a good parent to this baby she was carrying? There was no way to plan for this.
“You okay?”
“Um...no. I’m not really. I know you said no more secrets, but I’m not sure I can just tell you everyone of—”
He put a finger to her lips. She nipped at it. “You don’t have to. Sometimes honesty means just keeping it real with yourself. When you trust me, you won’t be worried about your most personal thoughts.”
Was that it?
Was it trust that was keeping her from telling him about the baby? Hell, yes, it was. But also a million other things. Like, would they be a family? Would they try to raise the child together? Or live separate lives and co-parent? Would he evenwantto be a father?
“Paisley, no pressure. Let’s just enjoy getting to know each other. We are starting over because we know that we like each other, have wicked chemistry and maybe don’t want to walk away, right?”
No pressure? Could she really let all this go...at least for now?
Come on, Paisley, be Elsa from Frozen and let it go. Be the woman in this beautifully snowy December evening with the super hot Hollywood heartthrob.
He started laughing, pulled her into his arms and hugged her. Then, using his hand, he tipped back her head so that their eyes met. “Lady, you are trying too hard. Just be.”
“Ugh. You know I can’t—”
She broke off as his mouth came down on hers with a fierceness she wasn’t expecting. The spark that had always happened between them sprang to life and she closed her eyes, felt her fears and worries start to ebb away. There was no room for them in her head when Sean kissed her like this.
His mouth moved over hers with a familiarity and sureness as she tipped her head to the side and returned the embrace. Rubbed her tongue over his and deeper into his mouth. She couldn’t help but feel that something that had been lost was sort of found again.
Sean knew there was no easy way to win trust. Or to just trust and be himself. He had understood that she was scared. His celebrity did that. There was no way that most people in their daily lives ever thought he could be just like them. But he realized that he didn’t really care what anyone else thought. It was just Paisley.
Having her back in his arms like this made something hard and cold in his stomach start to melt. He was on fire for her. His cock hardened, and he shifted his hips so that his erection didn’t brush against her because he didn’t want her to think this was only about sex for him. He’d hadn’t acknowledged even to himself that he was afraid he’d lost her for good. He refused to allow any more thoughts in his head. He had her in his arms and he didn’t plan to let her go. Her mouth tasted as good as he remembered. More exotic and addictive than anything he’d eaten or any drug he’d taken. He wanted her.
He wanted to get back into her bed, not just because she drove him wild with desire, but so that that tense thing inside of him could relax and maybe he could convince himself he was still the man she wanted. He was working hard to get her back, but in his mind was that same fear that had always driven him. That he wasn’t good enough. That he’d never get her back. That this was the last time he’d hold her.
She didn’t trust him.
That was huge. He knew it. Could he use their physical bond to build trust? God, he hoped so.
He heard people coming toward them and lifted his head, keeping her tucked to his side. “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Look at the windows. There is one I think you will like,” he said. He’d noticed it recently when he’d been out running errands. He and Paisley hadn’t really talked about Christmas, but she had a print on her wall. A Norman Rockwell one that showed a little girl in front of a fireplace decked in garland with a tree next to it.
He’d seen a version of it with a group of children standing by the fireplace and he hoped she’d like it. He wanted to show her that even though he hadn’t been truthful about everything, he’d been committed to her. That he’d been real with her.Seenher.
“Can you do that? Won’t people recognize you?” she asked.
“Nah. I mean some might, but when I’m with you, wearing a beanie, I think we can be unobtrusive.”
“Okay. Then sure... I’d love that.” She slipped her gloved hand into his and they laced their fingers together. He took a deep breath, realizing that he hadn’t expected this. The kiss must have softened her more than he’d expected.