Sleeping in the car is better than facing the loss of Summer right now.
Chapter 14
Carlo
I sit in the parking lot at Swank the next evening and look at the texts from Summer I’ve left unanswered. I haven’t brought her things by yet—not because I’m not sure but because I can’t see her yet. Especially not if she cries and tries to change my mind.
I’d do anything for her, but I’m not going to cage her into something when she isn’t ready.
I want her love, and her heart is still tied up with the coglione John.
Can we talk?
Carlo?
I’m so sorry about last night. I really want to tell you in person.
I believe she’s sorry. I’m sure she’s upset thinking I’m mad. She’s a pleaser, so it probably bothers her that I haven’t answered.
I’m not trying to be a dick—I just haven’t figured out what to say. I’m too raw from it all. It’s hard enough to accept she doesn’t share my feelings. I’m sure as hell not ready to sit down and re-hash that fact with her.
It’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have moved so fast. I knew she wasn’t ready to dive into a new relationship yet, but the moment I held her in my arms, I was unwilling to let her go. But it’s time to smarten up. Maybe, in time, we can try again. Or maybe she’ll never be interested in a guy like me.
My thumb hovers over the message. Fuck. The dominant in me—the guy who needs to take care of and protect her, even if she doesn’t want me—can’t leave her hanging. I care way too much about her.
No apology necessary, Summer. If you need me, I’ll be there, but as a friend.
I send it and try to ignore the searing pain from my forehead.
She calls immediately. Fuck.
I’m not asshole enough to not take her call. I pick it up.
“Carlo. Thanks for answering. Can we just talk?”
I rub the place in my chest that aches. “Summer…”
“Please?”
“You’re killing me, here.”
“Will you just give me a chance to apologize? I screwed up. I behaved badly at the party and—”
“I can’t do this, Summer,” I interrupt. “I appreciate the apology, but it doesn’t change the situation. The thing is”—I scrub my unshaven face with my hand—“my feelings for you are too real. Summer, I—” I stop, shaking my head. Am I really going to tell her this?
Fuck it.
“This wasn’t a new thing for me, cara. I’ve cared about you for years. I picked the wrong time to show you my feelings. You’re not in a position to accept them now. It’s okay. Maybe we can try again in the future.”
“I’m ready to try again now,” she pleads. “I’m over John, I swear—”
The squeezing in my chest worsens. I can’t do this. “Let’s give it some time. We both need some time.”
“No, we don’t.”
“Summer.” I put a little dominance in her name, and she sucks in a breath. “I’ll see you at Sunday dinner.”
“Yeah, okay.” I hear tears in her voice, and I want to throw myself over a blade.
I never in a million years wanted to hurt her. Never thought I’d give her up once she pledged to be mine.
But the thing is, she isn’t really mine. I don’t want her heart borrowed from her stronzo ex. I don’t want to be her back-up plan.
I want Summer, but I want all of her.
Heart, body and soul.
I sit in my car for a long moment then force myself to open the door and get out.
I go inside to lick my wounds over a few drinks.
Sonny’s in the rear of the club where Joey recently installed a pool table for us, and we play a few rounds of pool. Normally I clean the table before the other guy ever takes a turn, but tonight, Sonny wins all three games.
“Something bothering you, boss?”
I shake my head, even though we both know my denial is a lie. Funny how three weeks with Summer changed everything for me. Despite the familiar surroundings and people, I feel as unmoored as I did that night Mario put a hit on me. I lost my home country, my family, my position that night.
I thought I found a new one here. The LaTorres fulfilled my need to belong, and I worked hard to secure my position.
Made myself indispensable to the don. Planned to marry his daughter to solidify things.
I craved Summer then, but it wasn’t just the gorgeous young woman who was only seventeen–too young for me to even think of touching. It was what she represented. A secure place at the table. Permanency. A future.
Joey stepping back as next in line for the throne made my place even more secure. Made this imagined future even more attainable. And then Summer offering herself up to me on a platter?