I screw my face up having no fucking idea what the hell she is talking about. Claim her coal? I pride myself on knowing a little about a lot of things, but I am fucking clueless.
“Okay,” I try to keep my voice neutral instead of sounding like I am asking her what the fuck she is talking about, “what’s your resolution then?”
She takes a deep breath before her words rush out, “I’m in love with my best friend and I’m not sure if he’s in love with me. I’ve felt this way for a long time, but I was scared. I mean, what if he doesn’t like me back? What if the thought of being with me disgusts him? It could ruin our friendship.”
Justice’s gorgeous face flashes in my mind, and I find myself smiling even though I have no clue why. I can appreciate how damn beautiful my best friend is without it being weird. Right?
“I’m not going to lie to you,” my tone is serious, “you might ruin your friendship by admitting how you feel.”
“I know,” she sounds defeated.
“However, if you truly feel strongly about it, you shouldn’t hide how you really feel either. Some relationships are better as friendships, but some are supposed to be more,” I try and put a little hope in my voice for her, even though I have no idea why.
“I just don’t want it to be awkward.”
“Oh, it’ll be awkward,” I tease. “And scary. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.”
“He could reject me,” she sounds broken, and I hate it.
“He could,” I keep my voice soft, “but can you live without him?”
“No,” she breathes out, “I love him.”
“Sleep on it for a few days, write a pros and cons list if it’s something which helps you, and pay attention to how he interacts with you.” That damn vision of Justice is back. “There’s a clue in his behavior.”
“Thanks,” she still sounds unsure, but it’s to be expected.
She is taking a leap and I have to admire that. My gut tightens and I try to remember the last time I took a leap. When I didn’t take the easy route because it was easy to pick up a woman or not. When I didn’t settle into comfortable instead of pushing the boundaries to get what I really want.
I guess that’s the biggest question of them all—what do I really want?
I’m quick to wrap up the show and then record a few promos spots for the station. It doesn’t take long, but by the time I’m ready to go I’m really ready to go. Nothing sounds better than a relaxing night at home. Justice comes unbidden into my mind again and I find myself smiling as I head out.
When my phone rings and I see it’s Justice calling me, I answer without hesitation, “Were your ears burning or something? I was just thinking about you and a nice relaxing night?”
Her voice is surprised and a little wary, “You were?”
I bark out a laugh. “Of course, how could my best girl even question it?”
“That’s fair,” her voice sounds forced and nervous, it instantly puts me on edge. Even her little giggle is forced. The hair on the back of my neck stands up. “Can I come over in a little while? I have something I’d like to talk to you about?”
“That sounds ominous,” I tease her even though it doesn’t feel like a tease with the way my heart is pounding in my chest. “Do I get a hint?”
“I’m claiming my coal,” there’s some steel in her voice and before I can say anything in response, she hangs up.
I glance at my phone and furrow my eyebrows together before I put it away and push my hands into my coat pockets. I guess I’ll find out soon enough what the hell she’s talking about. Justice never was one to beat around the bush. She’s brazen and totally in tune with herself which I admire about her.
I wonder what the hell she’s come up with now.
CHAPTER 3
JUSTICE
From the time I realized what claiming my coal meant for me, I decided the best course of action would be to take two days to really think about what I was doing. It’s a big ask to go to your best friend for his sperm. That’s not normal dinner conversation and I’ve been tied up in knots all day thinking about what could happen.
He could tell me ‘no’ right off the bat. I wouldn’t blame him. It’s not like we ever really talked about settling down, which isn’t something I want to do, and we certainly don’t talk about having kids. I have no idea if Corbin wants children.
Will he understand I’m not asking him to be a father to my child? He won’t have any responsibility after the cup is filled as far as I’m concerned. I don’t know how he’ll react.