I needed to tell Will, but I didn’t quite know how.
I didn’t want him to think I wanted our relationship to be over, but I wanted him to sort things out with Jade without me being in the picture. I knew he had feelings for her, I could see it on his face whenever she was around. All that anger and frustration was mixed up with other stuff. I felt like he needed to deal with that before we could really be together. Also, it was affecting my relationship with Zoë. Since Jade had come into our lives, she was often unfriendly towards me, actively pushing me away.
I didn’t want the situation to escalate or for Will to be placed in a position where he had to choose between Zoë and me. That was a game I couldn’t win, no matter how hard I tried.
New Haven was only two hours away by car, we could see each other on weekends. I tried to find a good time to talk to Will, but when he came home from work, he was tired and went to have a shower. I put Zoë down and made us dinner.
“How was your day?” he asked, looking up to hear my answer. I could hardly say, oh, I’ve found myself another job.
“We had a playdate with Michel,” I said.
“Is that the French kid?”
“He’s taught Zoë to say bonjour,” I said.
“I think learning some French is not a bad thing at all. Wasn’t there another kid who kept swearing?”
Zoë’s problem wasn’t making friends, it was that she kept making all the wrong sort of friends. Will was talking about a boy in her class who I later found out had a serious attitude problem. When I’d told him I wouldn’t let them watch YouTube, he’d sworn at me. When I’d told Zoë he wouldn’t be welcome at our place in future, she’d sighed and said in an adult way, “He really is his own worst enemy.”
“How was your day?” I asked.
“Long. Confusing.”
“Why?”
He shook his head and explained that he’d had a drink with an IT guy from another gaming company, claiming that their app was like something they’d produced. He was talking about getting lawyers in and suing Will’s company.
“Is there any truth to what he’s saying?”
“No way,” Will was adamant. “Alex and I came up with the context, with the design, everything.”
“Where is Alex now?” I wondered.
“I have no idea. Last I heard, he’d gone freelance.”
“Could he be talking to this guy?”
Will thought about it. “I don’t know, he did leave under a cloud. I mean, he was fired. But maybe he got a job with these guys and is claiming some sort of ownership. It won’t hold up in court though, he was working on the app while employed by me.”
He pushed his plate away, half of the food still uneaten.
He got himself a beer and leaned against the counter.
He looked so downcast and worried that I had to get up and give him a hug.
“It will be okay,” I said, feeling terrible about the secret I was carrying around. I knew the moment I told him I was resigning from the job, I would add to his worries, what with him having to find a new nanny and all.
“At least I have you,” he said, hugging me back.
Well. Yeah. About that.
No way I could tell him now.
I waited until the next morning, but then we overslept and had to rush to get ready to get Zoë to school. After I dropped her off, I checked my phone and saw a message from the guesthouse in New Haven. They wanted me to give them an answer on the job as soon as possible.
I had no choice.
I needed to make a decision, but I wanted to talk to Will about it first. I tried calling him at work, but his line was busy. Then when my phone rang, I thought it was him, but it turned out to be the school.