“No,” he says, his eyes wide and tender. “No, my sweet Paige. You are beautiful. You will always be beautiful to me.”
I don’t know why, but I needed to hear that, put that way specifically. My crying subsided, though the occasional sob still racks my body.
“You’ve been kinder to me than anyone I’ve met since I left home,” I mumble. It’s hard, but I force myself to lift my gaze and meet his own. “I’m so sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
Maybe not, but I feel like I do.
“Jovak, I … when it comes to you and me ... can you give me time? Please? Just some time to sort … to sort all of this out in my head?”
He nods. “Of course, Paige. I will give you anything you want or need.”
Jovak pulls me back into his embrace, and I willingly go with the motion. I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight, so very tight.
He won’t abandon us. He says he’ll wait for me.
I feel it’s far more than I deserve, but I’ll take it.
8
JOVAK
Iheld Paige in the moonlight for a long time after she stopped crying. My hands slid over her back, from time to time, in an attempt to make her feel more comfortable. It’s hard to hold my desires in check, no pun intended. Yet I manage to do so.
I want her so badly that I almost can’t stand it. I burn for her more than I have for any female in my entire life. When she pushed away from me and fled, I had a dark moment where I wanted to be angry with her for rejecting me.
Fortunately, the moment passed, and I was able to push through it. When I went after her, it was out of concern for her well-being.
I was prepared to get used to the idea of being disappointed, but then she said something that gave me hope.
She said it wasn’t a rejection, and she asked me for time. Time? I have only just met this woman, and yet I feel like I would wait for her until the moon fell out of the sky.
I held her for a long time and then gently guided her back toward the cabin. Once we got inside, I laid her down on the bedding near her sister. She was asleep before I even covered her up.
I built a fire in the hearth and then sat beside its crackling warmth. I always found a fire to be soothing. Pity, she’s asleep and can’t enjoy it with me. Then again, maybe it’s best she rests. We have a hard journey ahead of us.
I watched her sleep for a long time until my own eyelids grew heavy. I fell into a deep slumber and didn’t awaken until after the sun was well in the sky the next day.
Paige and I didn’t talk about what happened the night before, but we did speak. It’s mostly about practical matters like breaking camp and preparing to head north toward my people’s lands, but the easy and carefree manner in which we speak gives me hope. Hope that maybe she’ll come around.
It seems I must woo her. Strange because I've never done any such thing before. I have had many lovers, but this is different. This feels like it needs to be more than just a one-night tryst or even an extended torrid affair. This feels … right, but it’s happening too fast. I never thought I would be in this situation. I had pushed all thoughts of taking a mate from my mind.
Yet, that’s all I can think about when I’m around her. Making her my mate, and the act of mating her itself ….
We packed up the wagon and began our journey anew. The sun has dried out the road by early afternoon, and we are making good time rattling along. Paige and I talk and share the occasional laugh about the bear that came calling to our camp and the caprice of nature in general.
After the end of the second day on the road, Laney has recovered almost fully. I’ve never seen anyone spring back from injury so quickly. While we are making camp beside a babbling brook, Paige headed off into the woods by herself for a bit, and I’m left with Laney.
“So,” Laney says, fixing me with her too-wise-for-her-age gaze. “Alone at last, huh?” I’m not sure what she means. She notices my quizzical frown and elaborates. “I mean, you like my sister, don’t you?”
My head pops up, and I give her a hard stare. “I’m not sure these are the types of matters to be discussed with children.”
Laney rolls her eyes, and I feel foolish for some reason. “I’m ten, not five. Paige told me about the birds and the bees.”
“What do feathers and stingers have to do with it?” I shake my head. “You’re talking in riddles. Yes, I like your sister. She is brave, kind, and lovely, but we don’t have … that kind of relationship.”
“Maybe not,” she says, her eyes narrowing. “But that’s what you both want. I can tell.”