“That’s exactly what you did. The question I’ve been asking for the last five minutes is why.”
“You know why,” he said, raising the volume of his voice for the first time. “Or you should.”
“Tell me.”
He shook his head. “When you came after us, I looked you up, of course. You looked a little familiar, but it took me a while to place you. James is a pretty common last name after all. But when I realized you were your dad’s daughter, I almost didn’t believe it at first.”
“Why not?”
“Because every single thing about your life is like a slap in the face to the good man he was.”
I took a staggering step back as if I had been slapped. My heart pounded painfully in my chest as I looked up at him. “What?”
“He was a good man. Decent. Moral. And just look how you live your life. Selling yourself, your image, your body for money. If he could see the way you lived your life, he wouldn’t even recognize it. It’s like you threw away everything he taught you.”
Gideon paused for a breath as I stared up at him in horror. My heart was no longer pounding hard against my ribcage. In fact, I couldn’t feel it at all. It was like Gideon’s cruel words had stopped it.
“I thought, if I met you, and got to know you, I could help you get back on track—for his sake. Because if he saw the way you lived now—”
I couldn’t take anymore.
I whirled around, sprinting back inside. I grabbed my purse and my jacket and ran out the front door.
Behind me, I heard the garage door opening and Gideon calling my name, but I ran down the sidewalk, trying to outrun his terrible accusations.
I turned a corner at the end of the street and ran on. I could still hear him, but grief was giving me strength. Eventually, I ended up at a little park, and Gideon was nowhere to be seen.
Good. I didn’t ever want to see him again.
I took out my phone and used an app to call for a call.
For too long, I’d stayed outside of my world. It was time to return to it.
27
LILA
“Lila, why don’t we make a video about that new ice-maker you got last week?” Penny asked. “I’ve been playing around with it, and it’s awesome. At just the touch of a button, you can make slushies or smoothies. Want me to make you one?”
“No thanks.” I barely looked up from the sofa I’d been spending a lot of time on.
“How about we go for a walk? I know how much you enjoy people-watching on Michigan Avenue.”
“No thanks.”
Penny sighed as she knelt down next to me. She picked up my wrist with two fingers and pretended to take my pulse.
“Very funny.”
She signed. “Brady and Cole keep calling and texting.”
That made me open one eye. “Are you interested? They’re great guys.” Great guys that I missed so badly it felt like a physical ache.”
“They’re interested in you. And they’re worried about you. We all are.”
“I’ll be fine. It just takes time—you know that.”
“It wasn’t the same for me. Jeff was an ass.”