“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said. “You doing okay?”
I sucked in a breath. “It was sudden, but yeah. I need to focus on moving forward.”
She gave a reassuring nod. “That’s the way to do it.” Her smile turned devious. “And I’m sure we can help take your mind off them.”
I forced out a smile.
“Speaking of that,” she said, “have you done anything like this before?”
“No. I mean, I’ve sent some nudes to my boyfriend, but nothing more than that.”
“But you think you’d be comfortable with performing? It’s not like I want to talk you out of it, but you need to consider the impact this will have, especially long term. You might be okay with showing everything today, but five or ten years down the road that could change. The internet is a big place—much bigger than when I started—but it’s still forever.” Her tone was serious. “Once you ring that bell, you can’t un-ring it.”
I took in a deep breath. “I understand.”
“Okay.” She seemed satisfied. “Have you done any acting before?”
My head bobbed in a nod. “I was the lead in the school play my senior year.”
“Oh, that’s great.” She looked pleasantly surprised. “Did you take the pictures I asked for?”
My chest tightened. “Yeah.”
I pulled out my phone, scrolled to the hidden album of photos I’d snapped earlier, and passed my phone to her. She studied the pictures thoughtfully, like they weren’t images where I was buck-ass naked.
I’d done my best to look sexy and pose how she’d asked, and I was grateful when she’d said I’d only have to show her my pictures when we were in person. She seemed to be exactly who she said she was, but still. I wasn’t about to email nudes, especially ones that showed my face, to a complete stranger.
“No issues here. You’ve got a great body.” She handed my phone back to me. “So, besides the money, why are you interested in doing this?”
Once again, my brain went blank. I should have prepared for this like a job interview, but our meeting had come together so quickly, I hadn’t had time.
Nina took pity on me. “I guess what I’m getting at is, when our performers enjoy themselves, so do our viewers. Does the thought of doing this . . . turn you on at all? I get that you’re nervous, but is part of you excited too?”
Under the table, I pinched my knees together, but I could have sworn she still noticed. My voice dropped to a whisper. “Yes.”
Her eyebrow lifted in perfect time with the corner of her mouth. “Yeah? Anything particular you’re interested in?”
All the moisture in my body began to migrate south. She was a gorgeous woman, and the way she stared at me was provocative, like she was thinking about having me for dessert. And if she wanted to, well . . . maybe I’d let her.
She’d asked what I was interested in, and so I gave her an honest answer.
“Um, is it weird if I say all of it?” I took a quick gulp of my martini, giving me courage to say the rest. “When I got to college, I thought that was the time I was going to try all these new things. New experiences. I was supposed have sex in wild places, with guys, or girls, or guys and girls. But instead, I spent two years with him, and . . . none of that happened. My window is closing.”
Nina gazed at me like she’d found a diamond in the rough. “Oh, girl. It’s not closing. There’s no expiration date on experimenting, and you don’t need permission to find who you want to be.”
I pressed my lips together. On some level, I knew what she was saying was true, but I struggled anyway. My college life had been nothing but pressure. Pressure to pick the one job I’d be happy to do for the rest of my life. To have wild, life-changing experiences. And maybe to find my soulmate.
It was a lot to pack into four years. How the fuck did anyone do all that?
“Here’s my thought for the rest of the evening,” Nina said. “We’ll finish our drinks, and then we’ll go to the studio. If you feel like auditioning, I’ll find you a partner. And if that goes well, which I bet it will,” she winked, “and you’re interested in doing more, I’ll give you the full rundown of how we operate and the house rules. If you decide it’s not for you, no problem. We’ll pay you a thousand dollars for the content and that’s it.”
She let me digest that as she took a sip of her drink, and her eyes studied me, gauging my response. Maybe she worried I’d need more convincing.
“I think you’d have a lot of fun,” she continued, “and I’d love to get a chance to help you explore all the things you want to. What do you say?”