“I know it. In fact, Lennon, you’re a very lucky man because so many people love you and want to be part of your life.”
“I guess so,” Lennon grouses as only a child can.
“If you’re honest, you love Jake, too.”
“Kind of. He takes care of me and Mommy since Mommy got hurt. He makes me pancakes and reads to me, too.”
“See, Lenny.”
“Sometimes he colors with me, too. Although, he always colors the sky blue and that’s not right. Sometimes the sky is orange, purple, or even yellow.”
I ruffle his hair, wiping away my tears and trying to keep anymore from escaping. There will be time for crying later—when I’m alone. “Then, that will be your job, buddy. You will have to show Jake how to color.”
“You really think Jake loves me?” Lennon asks.
“I love you more than anything in this world, son,” Jake says. My gaze moves up to see my brother standing in the door, tears running down his face.
Hell, I guess it’s the day for crying because Katie’s doing the same just behind Jake and I feel tears stinging my eyes again. Lennon turns to look at Jake and then, without warning, he goes over to stand in front of my brother.
“Did you really not know about me?”
“I really didn’t.”
“I can love you and Jeff, too, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” Jake says, his voice gruff.
“So, you won’t fight anymore, because family shouldn’t fight.”
“They shouldn’t?”
“No, because families love each other.”
I get up and slap my brother on the shoulder in a small show of support as he hugs Lennon to him. “I love you, Lennon,” Jake says, hugging him close.
I leave the room. I need some air.
This is right. This is how everything should be. It’s how it should have been all along.
It doesn’t change the fact that it’s not painful as hell.
CHAPTER 11
Jeff
“Thank you for that, Jeff,” Katie says, following behind me with her walker.
“I didn’t tell Lennon about Jake. He already knew,” I quickly tell her, not wanting her to think I’d do something like that to hurt anyone.
“We heard,” she admits.
I feel a little bitter inside realizing they listened in because they didn’t trust me to talk to Lennon on my own. I realize I probably brought that distrust on myself, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. I push it aside. It’s just another sign that I don’t belong here. We all need distance right now.
“Lennon’s right, you know? There’s still room for you in his life—in all our lives. Just because things are different doesn’t mean they can’t be good, Jeff.”
“I will still see Lennon on holidays and things. I just…” I stop talking and look up at the woman who has owned my heart for most of my life. “I need some space, Katie. I need time to heal and find the man I used to be.”
“What happens next?” she asks, and I hate the sadness in her eyes, but I can’t fix this. This is how things are meant to be—no matter how much I don’t like it.