Bit by bit, she felt the strange breathlessness fade, and she could see clearly again. She sat up straighter, shaking free of his touch. The panic attack was gone, but his threat remained.
“You’re going to take her away from me,” she murmured, eyes haunted when they met his, so she saw the surprise that crossed his features.
He swore, crouched down before her and put a hand over hers. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want to take Charlotte away from her mother. Do you honestly think –,” he shook his head, stopping mid-sentence. “I’m talking about raising her together. You can be with her every day, and I can be with her every day. I’m talking about us becoming a family.”
Chapter6
“BUT WE’RE NOT A FAMILY.” She blurted, having to immediately denounce the idea before it took hold. Magic was already weaving through her – the lure of that which she’d always wanted, that which had been denied to her as a child. All of her longing from girlhood, when she’d go to friend’s houses and see their two parents and siblings and hear their noise and banter and witness small, unthinking rituals and traditions. A seed of longing had dug into her then, and it had never let go.
On reflection she realized it was a large part of why she’d agreed to marry Eric. At the time, she’d told herself she loved him, but meeting Gray had quickly pushed that idea from her mind. She hadn’t loved Eric, so much as she’d loved the idea of being someone’s wife, someone’s mom, of being an important piece in a family.
It had been a stupid reason to accept his proposal.
Just like it would be stupid to let Gray go any further with this idea.
“We can’t just close our eyes and pretend to be something we’re not.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” She floundered for an excuse.
“We’re not pretending,” he insisted. “We made a baby. We’re a mother and a father.”
“But not a couple,” she underscored quickly, pushing up to standing. He reached out a hand, curving it solicitously beneath her elbow, and she pulled away, the fireworks that rushed through her a warning she had to heed. “I’m fine,” she insisted.
He took a step back, as if he too was burned by the electrical current flowing between them, moving into the kitchen and filling up a glass of water for her.
She watched as he crossed back to her – a few of his strides brought him right to her side.
“No, we’re not a couple,” he agreed, with a nonchalant shrug, as though it barely mattered.
She hesitated. “Maybe you should explain what you’re thinking a little better. Like, how would this work?”
“We’d get married,” he said with a businesslike nod, not realizing that he’d lost her at the first hurdle. “And move to my place.” He waved a hand around her living room, his implication clear.
“Your apartment is a palace,” she said, gulping down huge sips of water.
“It’s more spacious.”
“We don’t need space,” she couldn’t help adding, belligerently, even though she’d only recently been imagining a future when she would, indeed, need a better place in which to raise their growing daughter.
He lifted a brow but didn’t respond, clearly aware that she was being argumentative for the sake of it.
“I’d set up a bank account in your name. You’d have an unlimited credit card. You could buy whatever you wanted. Do whatever you wanted.”
“Divorce?” She couldn’t help suggesting with a twist of her lips.
“Except that.” He crossed his arms, staring her down. “We’ll have an ironclad pre-nup. While we were married, you’d enjoy every benefit.”
“And if we divorced?”
He hesitated a moment. “I want her in my life, Abby. I’ve already missed too much.”
“Youcanbe in her life.”
“Every day.”
She could understand how he felt, but it wasn’t possible. “Lots of people raise kids separately.”