A slight pause. “No.”
She bit down on her lip. “So you have to understand my headspace back then.”
“Why? What are you getting at?”
“It’s just really important that you understand that I’d had a resounding demonstration of how different we were, and particularly, what you wanted and didn’t want.” Her voice cracked. “I would never make a decision to hurt you. I thought – back then, I thought I was protecting you.”
“From what?” His words had an edge to them. She folded the fabric of her skirt more frantically, looking around quickly to make sure no one was listening. But the diner was busy, the nearby diners offering anonymity with their own conversations and lives.
“The day after you told me how little I meant to you, I found out that I was pregnant.”
He swung back in his seat so his leg clipped the table, wobbling the coffee pot precariously. They both reached for it at the same time, their fingers entwining by accident. She withdrew hers quickly, but not before tiny lightning bolts had flickered to life beneath her skin.
“What?”
She nodded slowly. “I was shocked. Obviously we hadn’t planned for that…”
“Pregnant tome?”
She didn’t immediately understand him, but after a minute, she let out a rushed nod. “Eric and I hadn’t slept together in months. You’re the only other person I’d been with.”
He swore softly. “What did you do?”
It took her a moment to realise what he meant.
“I had the baby.”
He swore again, stood up, jack-knifing out of the chair as if he’d been electrocuted. “You –,” he shook his head, then reached out a hand to her. “Come with me.” His voice was firm, his eyes imploring. Desperate. And she was so shaken herself that she stood, putting her hand in his and following him from the diner. Neither spoke as they walked down the street. It was only once in the incredibly luxurious foyer of his building that she pulled her hand free, regaining some semblance of common sense. “What are you doing?”
“That,” he pointed across the street, his expression angry. “Is not the place to have a conversation like this. Come upstairs.” He turned his back and strode to the lift, obviously expecting her to follow. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. Her feet felt glued to the ground. When he reached the lift and realized she wasn’t following, he spun around and stalked back to her. “Seriously, Abby. I will lift you over my shoulder if you don’t make the mature decision here.”
She stared at him, jaw dropped. “You’ll lift me – you’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
He didn’t. He looked deathly serious, and furious. She crossed her arms over her chest, contemplated refusing, but dismissed that temptation almost instantly. She’d come here to tell him the truth, and he deserved to know more than the fact she’d had a baby. He must have a thousand questions. But that didn’t allay her fears at returning to his penthouse. Not fears of him, but of their past, of her desires, of all the ghosts that haunted her.
“Fine. I’ll come up, but only for a few minutes.”
His eyes narrowed, and he waved a hand towards the lift. She felt like she was being frogmarched in that direction. With a grimace, she moved that way, head held high, going at her own speed, refusing to show that she was a quivering mess.
In the elevator, she stood as far from Gray as was possible. In the open air he was an overwhelming force, but in a confined space such as this, he was completely too much to bear.
She was aware of everything about him, from his muscular strength, his height, his bearing, to his five o’clock shadow, chiseled face, the lines that bracketed his lips, giving it character and strength. She was aware of his Adam’s apple and the way it shifted, the hair on his knuckles, the sound his breath made as it rushed from his lips.
The doors split open and she burst from the lift as if pushed, sucking in a deep breath. The past was there, in his penthouse, but it was far better than being only a few feet away from him.
“Talk.”
He crossed the room, towards the kitchen, pulling out a beer from the fridge and cracking the top. He studied her in a way that made her heart thunder. She stayed exactly where she was.
“I don’t know what else I can tell you.”
“You’re saying you had my child?”
She nodded, pinpricks of light dancing across her eyelids. “Yes.”
“When?”