He staredout at the city, completely robbed of words and breath. What the hell had just happened? He hadn’t meant foranyof that to transpire. He’d known he had to respect her decision to keep sex out of their marriage. He’d been okay with it. Sure, he wanted her, but he wasn’t a total neanderthal. He could control his body, at least a little.
And he sure as hell hadn’t meant to leave her with the impression that he was going to be rifling through his little black book in search of other willing bed partners. The pain in her face when he’d even made the suggestion would stay with him a very long time. He knew it wasn’t really about him. She’d been lied to before. Cheated on. And she didn’t want a repeat of that, despite the fact their marriage was a fake.
Gray’s gut twisted.
He thought he was done hurting her.
And despite his anger that she’d kept Charlotte a secret from him, he took no pleasure in seeing the pain on her delicate features and knowing that he was the cause.
Was there any way for them to spend time together that wouldn’t result in that kind of explosive argument? Or explosive need?
He stared out at the city as the sun rose higher, bathing the buildings in golden light, and felt the danger of what he’d orchestrated. He’d acted on instinct – a need to bring Charlotte into his home and life – but he hadn’t given enough thought into how the rest of it would work.
But now, he had to do exactly that. They couldn’t live like this. He wouldn’t risk making her miserable every day of her life. Gray wasn’t vindictive, and he wasn’t unfeeling. At least, not completely. He might have chosen to turn off his emotions when it came to relationships with women, but that didn’t mean he was an insensitive jerk. He had to find a way to make this marriage a success for both of them, or he wasn’t sure he could live with himself.
.
Chapter11
THEIR EARLY MORNING CONVERSATION was still ringing in Abby’s ears later that evening, when Gray walked into the apartment, deep in conversation with a slim, young blonde. Midway through wiping the bench after feeding Charlotte her dinner, Abby could only stare, jaw dropped at the sight.
Color drained from her cheeks completely. She’d encouraged him to have his ‘fun’ elsewhere, but she hadn’t meant quite so soon. Nor so flagrantly.
When they became aware of her, they stopped talking.
“Abby, this is Jacinda.”
She didn’t know how to respond. She’dsuggestedthis, but she sure as hell wasn’t ready for it. Just seeing him with another woman exploded something in the region of her heart.
“You must be Abby,” Jacinda’s smile was warm and relaxed. “I’m so pleased to meet you.” Her eyes shifted left. “And this is Charlotte?” Her expression softened and she crossed the room, crouching down to Charlotte’s eye level in the highchair, and offering another beautiful, dimpled smile. “Hello, young lady. I can see you’ve enjoyed that sweet potato.” She angled her face towards Abby, who was totally lost. “Does she have a good appetite?”
Abby stared at the other woman. “I’m sorry – you’re –,”
Gray had moved to stand directly across the bench from Abby and was watching her intently. “Jacinda is a nanny,” he said quietly, his eyes skimming her face. “She’s going to look after Charlotte tonight.”
Relief was the first emotion Abby felt, swiftly followed by irritation. She flicked a glance at the young woman then back to Gray. “Could I speak to you privately a moment?”
“Of course.” He waited for her to leave the room then followed. She avoided her bedroom – and went to his study instead. She’d never been in here, but she knew where it was. Once inside, she snapped the door shut.
“Gray, you can’t just hire a nanny without talking to me.”
“We need to talk. Privately.”
“So? Charlotte will be in bed in an hour. We can talk then.”
“I made dinner reservations.”
“Where?”
He named one of the most exclusive restaurants in New York. She only knew about it because she’d heard the chefs she worked with mention it about a billion times. “I thought you said we needed to talk privately.”
“Privately, and in public,” he said with a rueful expression flicking across his lips so she felt a tug of desire. And beyond that, a raw appreciation for the perfection of his features. He was just ridiculously hot. “Having other people around will make it a lot harder for me to do the things I’m thinking about.”
Her skin prickled with goosebumps. She would never admit it to him, but nor could Abby lie to herself. She wanted him to kiss her. Then and there. She’d been wanting that all day.
“Look, Abby. We really do need to talk. About the wedding, our marriage, Charlotte.”
She bit down on her lip. He was right – those matters all warranted discussion, and if they went to a restaurant, they could do so calmly, without interruption.