“That’s not true.”
“It’s all I know, and I’m damned to repeat it. I did the best I could for you, and it wasn’t good enough.”
“That’s not true either. Why didn’t you just ask me? Noah, what we had was perfect. This started as a nightmare, as the worst thing that could possibly happen besides dying, and we made it into something beautiful. I was really happy.”
“Was,” he mumbles. “I’m sorry, Lauren. If I could do it over, I would.”
“You can’t rewrite the beginning, but you can create a new ending.”
“I want that ending to be a happily ever after for you. You deserve it, even if it’s not from me.” Each word hurts him, every syllable tearing his heart bit by bit. The pain is obvious on his face.
I’ve never felt stronger for him than I do right now.
“I want it to be you.” And I do. I want Noah not just because he’s Ella’s father, but because I’ve fallen for him, hard. There is more to him than motorcycles and tattoos.
Noah moves forward, cupping my face in his hands, bringing my lips to his in a kiss.
“I love you,” he says, lips hovering over mine. “I’ve been in love with you for years. Ever since the first time I saw you, when you came into Mrs. Jefferson’s office to protest against dissecting the cats in biology.”
“You remember that?”
“I remember that you were wearing a pink and white dress. I remember how you smelled like strawberries. And I remember how crushed I was when I found out you were Colin’s sister. I thought I’d get over you. It was just a stupid teenage crush, but I didn’t, and the more I got to know you, the harder I fell. And then that night when you walked into the bar and I took you home … I thought one night with you would be the closest I would ever get. But then in a bizarre twist of fate, you got pregnant and gave me a chance. And then I was so scared of losing you, of letting you and Ella down, that I fucked it all up, and you deserve better.”
Tears are streaming down my face. I open my mouth only to close it again. The words soak into me, deep inside my heart, healing the hurt. All this time, he’s loved me. All this time he’s cared.
“I love you too, Noah.”
We kiss again, then Noah rests his forehead against mine. “Now what?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll fight for you. For ourfamily. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you this can work.”
“Noah,” I squeak out, unable to talk without crying.
“Can we start by being together and you be my girlfriend again?”
“Yes.” I close my eyes and press my lips to his. “But only if you make me a promise.”
“Anything.”
“Tell me when something upsets you. Let me help you and share the burden.”
“I hate doing anything to make you upset—”
“Noah,” I stop him right there. “Not telling me makes me a whole lot more upset. Obviously.”
Noah closes his eyes. “Fuck, I’m an idiot. I should have told you and this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Live and learn, right?”
Someone knocks on the door and comes in to take my blood to the lab.
“Do you feel sick?” Noah asks me when the phlebotomist leaves.
“I’m tired and have had an on and off headache for the last few days,” I admit. “But I’ve been stressed.”
I regret the words the moment they leave my mouth, Noah looks so guilty.