My phone buzzes with a text message, and I reach to grab it off the coffee table.
“Yay! Rachel can make it to the shower this weekend!”
“Rachel Brown, right?” Noah asks. Should I be impressed he remembers her? She was over at our house just as much as he was when we were kids. I guess it’s not that surprising.
“Yes. She wasn’t sure if she could get off work Monday. She lives in Texas now. I haven’t seen her in ages.”
“I’m glad she’s coming then.” He pulls me close and kisses me.
My heart feels so full right now, sitting there with Noah. He’s been so thoughtful, so caring and attentive. Thirty weeks ago, my life changed forever. And right now, I’m thinking those changes are for the better.
* * *
I get home from work Thursday, ready for a nap already. I go inside, change out of my scrubs, let the dogs out, and get the mail. Afraid of getting another bill insurance won’t cover, I cringe every time I open my mailbox. Half the time there’s nothing in there since I get everything via email now.
Today, there is one large white envelope. My heart drops into my stomach when I see it.
“Holy shit,” I mumble and flip the envelope over. With everything else that’s gone on, I totally forgot about this. Now my hands are shaking. I start to open the letter but stop and rush inside, grabbing my phone. I call Noah, get his voicemail, and hang up.
I can’t wait any longer. I rip open the envelope and unfold the letter, eyes scanning like mad. My hand flies over my mouth and excitement rushes through me. Holy fucking shit.
“I got in!” I scream. I have to read the acceptance letter one more time to believe that I got into vet school. Ella flips around, excited with me. “I got in, little girl!”
Then it hits me: I can’t go away to Purdue University in the fall.
I can’t leave Ella.
My excitement dies and I sink back onto the couch, unsure of how to feel. I’m incredibly disappointed … but I shouldn’t feel that way, right? I’ve worked so hard the years to get this far, and now I’m in. I got into vet school. And I can’t go.
My phone rings, and I get up to get it, moving on autopilot. “Hello?” I say to Noah.
“Hey, baby. I’m still at the studio. A shoot took longer than I expected. I’ll be home soon.”
“Good.”
“How was your day?”
“Fine. Hurry, because we need to talk.”
“Is something wrong?” he asks, a little panicked.
“Yes,” I say without thinking. “Well, maybe. I don’t know.”
“Are you and El—”
“We’re fine. Sorry,” I sigh. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. It just … I got accepted into vet school.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s fucking awesome, not bad.”
“It is awesome. It’s everything I ever wanted, only now I can’t go.”
“Why can’t you go?”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously,” he says. “Why can’t you go?”
“Because I’ll have a baby then!” I snap. I’m upset, but not with Noah. I shouldn’t take it out on him.