Page 68 of First Comes Love

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“No, I’m not.”

I rub her belly. “You’re carrying my child. What you’re doing is amazing, and you look amazing. I promise. You know I find you hot as hell still. I can prove it to you.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “Want to move this party into the bedroom?”

Lauren smiles. “Kind of. But I want to go shopping too.”

“Then we’ll shop first. Just know I’m going to ravish you when we get back.” I cup her face and kiss her, tasting salty tears on her lips.

“Thanks, Noah.” Her arms wrap around me and the words burn on my tongue. I want to tell her I love you—that I’ve loved her—so fucking much.

But I don’t, because I’m scared. Scared she doesn’t feel the same, that she’ll tell me we’re better off as friends, that she doesn’t think I’m good enough for her and for Ella.

* * *

“Where do you put all this stuff?” I ask. “It’s so much.”

Lauren smiles. She’s having fun registering items for the baby shower, and is going a little crazy with that scanner if you ask me. “Maybe we don’t use it all at once? Like this play mat thing isn’t until she’s a little older.”

“Right. She’s going to sleep most the day for what, like a month?”

She scans another item. “That’s what my baby book says, but from what I read online, they spend a lot of time crying too.”

I force a smile, deciding to tell her I’m getting terrified to have something so small under my care later. I don’t want to ruin her fun right now.

“Lovely.” I follow her down the aisle.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and have a newborn that sleeps most of the night.”

“Hopefully. It’s kind of crazy to think you’re in the third trimester already. Crazy, and a little scary.” I pick up a pink and purple baby toy, subconsciously smiling down at it. “What about this?”

“Oh, that’s cute!”

I flip it so Lauren can scan the barcode. She’s twenty-eight weeks along now and getting bigger every week. I’ve never looked at a pregnant woman’s body before, never taken the time to stop and think how incredible the whole thing is. Lauren says she feels like a whale, and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m looking forward to her having her body back, but I find her beautiful and sexy, baby bump and all. She’s growing our child, after all. That’s kind of a big deal.

I run my eyes over her and get hit with desire, brain flashing to her on top of me last night. I don’t know how she doesn’t see how beautiful she is. And now registering for baby stuff is taking way too long. She needs to be on me, under me, fuck, just touching me—now.

“What?” she asks, glancing up into my eyes.

“Nothing,” I say, shaking my head. Nothing, just getting turned on in the middle of fucking Target. “We’re almost done with the list.”

“Good. I have to pee.”

“You always have to pee.”

“Hey, you try having a giant baby inside of you and see how long you can go without peeing.”

I grab her around the waist. “Want another giant thing inside of you?”

She laughs and pushes me away. “Kind of. Yeah, I do. I think the answer will always be yes.”

“It better be.”

She rolls her eyes and laughs. “What’s next?”

I look at the paper. “Bath supplies.”

We head into the next aisle. “It’s a shame your mom had to work and couldn’t make it this weekend.”

“Yeah, a shame.” I don’t even try to hide my sarcasm. Mom picked up an extra shift, and I can’t help feel she did it on purpose to avoid seeing us—again. She sent me an Amazon gift card via email, which pissed me off even though I prefer it. It’s convenient for the both of us, but that’s how it is when you’re mad at someone. Everything they do, no matter how innocent, pisses you the fuck off. Going to the store for a card and the gift card was too much work for her, which to me translates into how little she cares. How little she’s always cared.


Tags: Emily Goodwin Romance