Della lifted her head from his chest, and anguish fastened itself to his lungs, strangling and cutting him off from his hard-fought breath. In that wretched basement, he’d stared into those same wide, blue, terrified eyes knowing she was about to die and unable to do a single thing about it. His chest heaved, fighting the chokehold, struggling for air.
Sensing his distress, Della wiggled upward till they were nose to nose. Hearts mashed together, the radiant light connecting them pulsed with contentment and peace. “I’m not dead,” she said, the tears streaming freely now. Chest glued to his, the pressure of her own respirations guided his, slowing until he could once again use his lungs. “I thought I’d killedyou. Hunter didn’t know why you were unconscious. He thought maybe the pain was too great or smoke inhalation or lack of oxygen to your brain or you’d had a stroke or—” A sob choked her words, and her face folded in on itself.
Cal wiped at her tears, desperate to make it stop, to do his duty and console her from the doubt and dread she’d been shouldering alone. It echoed through their bond, worse than the dreams of his own death, and it sickened him to know he’d been the cause of so much uncertainty and angst.
He pushed the words past his parched tongue. “I’m your Alpha. I’m meant to protect my Omega, protectyou, from everything. But I failed. I failed so badly, Della. I dragged you into danger, and I’m so, so sorry.”
He didn’t know what he wanted. Not her absolution or her forgiveness—God knew, he didn’t expect that, nor did he deserve it—but he kept talking, needing to drag all his shame into the open. “And the worst part? In those last minutes, when the building was falling, I didn’t even regret that I’d done it, that I’d selfishly forged this bond between us.” He squeezed his eyes shut as if he could hide from his mistakes. Feeling sick, overwhelmed, and so miserable, he pried his lids open, forcing himself to face her. “How is it that every time I think I’m doing the right thing, people I love pay the price?”
Anger elbowed onto Della’s features. Her lips lost their pink softness, and she narrowed her eyes into dangerous slits. “That bridge was an accident. You didn’t cause that any more than you caused the fire—”
“If I hadn’t put my mark on you,” he interrupted, passion and guilt erupting and getting the best of him, “you could’ve walked away free and clear.” He jabbed at his own chest. “If I hadn’t bonded you to me, your life would’ve never been at risk.”
Della lowered her brows and tilted her head to the side. “You think it was because of the claiming bite that I refused to leave?”
His chin jerked a tight nod. “A severed bond is... it’snot good. No Omega would want to live through that.”
Tears slowing, Della studied him for a long, poignant lull. He imagined the thoughts working their way through her brilliant mind as she examined them from every angle. It was one of the many things he loved about her; when she spoke, wisdom bolstered her opinions, and she always, always meant what she said. His insides shriveled, bracing and anticipating her rejection. If she severed their bond, he would miss that about her, but he would accept her truth and find a way to continue.
Her hand strayed to his face, and she traced his features with the tips of her fingers: his brows, his nose, his lips. Her touch felt like a benediction, like something holy, and his heart bulged under the weight of this gift, perhaps the last one she’d ever give him. “I told you in the fire that I tried to keep you out.” Her voice was hoarse and thick with feeling. “But I couldn’t. You teased, charmed, and seduced your way right into my steel-fortified heart.” The full swell of her lower lip tucked between her teeth. “How could I let you go when you worked so hard to get in there?”
Pulse pounding in his throat, her heartfelt confession held him rapt in her spell. Because that’s what he was, thoroughly and utterly spellbound, enthralled by the sensitive, tender creature that had burrowed into her tough outer shell for so long but who laid herself bare when she’d risked her life to save his. And, once again, her bravery exposed his deficiencies, shoving flaw after flaw in his face.
Control slipped away from him, his emotions once again spiraled into a desperate mess, and his words followed. “From the moment we met, I knew you were my Omega.Mine. And I vowed to protect you and keep you safe, but I didn’t.I couldn’t.”
With an exaggerated groan, Della tilted her face to the sky as her fist pounded softly against his chest. “You idiot man.” She dropped her head and pinned him with a look half-incredulous, half-pitying. “Are you not hearing me? I came to save you because I loveyou. I refused to leave because Iloveyou. I haven’t left your side for days because I fucking. Love. You.” Her ire evaporated, and she gazed down at him with all that love pouring out and spilling everywhere all at once. “Yeah, there’s this connection, and I guess after all this time, it turns out I’m some weird kind of Omega. I don’t understand any of it, but none of that is why I ran into that burning building. I didn’t run in there because you’re my Alpha or because we have this bond.” She shook her head like she couldn’t believe she had to actually say it out loud. “I ran in there because you’reyou.”
His trembling fingers found hers, and he brought them to his lips, kissing their tapered tips because he didn’t know what else to do. Every feeling he hadn’t allowed hurled into him in one crushing blow. It wrapped itself around him and rocked him to his very core with astonished, heartrending gratitude.
“Cal,” she whispered, those fingers scraping over his stubble, “safety is an illusion.Nothingis safe in this world. You can’t protect me any more than I could protect myself from loving you. It’s an impossible ask. The best we can do is take all the love we can find, hold it to our chests, and never, ever, give it up without a fight.”
In a few elegant sentences, she’d carved a hole in his chest. Like a huge tumor had been excised, and in its place, in the wide gaping pit where all his guilt, shame, and self-doubt had lived, Della overflowed with love, affection, and devotion. Protests drained out of him. Who was he to fight her on this? Who was he to reject her precious offering? Who was he to say that she was wrong?
She was right. There was no other option. If he couldn’t keep her absolutely safe, and he couldn’t give her up, then, of course, she was right. She had to be. He breathed in a cleansing puff of air, discovering that rather than fear, apprehension, and despair bearing down on him as it always had, he found lightness, possibility, and grateful, reverent wonderment.
He held up his palms in surrender. “All right. You’re right. Of course, you’re right.” Her eyes sparkled at this, and her cheeks drew up like two sweet little pillows of happiness. Lowering his hands, he snuck them around her middle, finding the edge of her shirt and slipping under to glide his fingertips over her soft, soft skin. His mouth flexed with the beginnings of a grin. “You like the sound of that, don’t you?”
A wide grin spread across her face. “Maybe a little.”
“A little too much.” His fingers dug into her sides, tickling her enough to elicit the smallest of squirms and a tiny, girlish squeal.
“You should listen to your elders,” she teased.
A rumbling growl percolated up from his chest. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
Smiling, he ran his hands up the length of her back, grounding himself in her strong, sturdy presence as she gazed down at him. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” The delight in her grin dimmed. “I don’t need you to protect me. We’re in this together, for as long as it lasts.”
“I understand.” He met her seriousness with his own. “And it’s a good thing you do, too, because I’m not that easy to get rid of.” He winked. “You had your chance. You’re stuck with me now.”
Craning his head upward, he kissed her nose, gratified when a smile stole onto her face. With his palms on her cheeks, he brought her lips to meet his in an electrifying kiss.
“You sure about that?” she teased between kisses. “You haven’t tasted my cooking yet.”
A hearty laugh rattled from deep in his chest, and he whispered against her kiss-swollen lips, “Do your worst.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Della