Evelina flushed fiercely, but she raised her chin, staring her brother directly in the eye. He would not subdue her. She would not beg for forgiveness. She simply refused to give him the satisfaction.
“Oh, Evelina,” said her father, in a sorrowful voice, shaking his head. “This is tragic. I blame myself. I have neglected you terribly, and this has happened as a result.”
“No, Papa,” she said, turning to him, her eyes glittering with tears. “That is not true. I simply fell in love. And love does not know nor understand the divisions of class.”
Her brother snorted in derision. “Are you still a maiden? Because your betrothal is still going ahead, Evelina. Even if we must deceive the Beaumont family.”
Evelina glared at him. “Perhaps Mr. Beaumont will no longer have me if I tell him about my love affair,” she said in a furious voice. “Perhaps all your plans will be ruined, Richard. It seems you cannot control everything after all.”
“You have not answered the question, Sister,” he spat. “Has your maidenhead been taken by that coachman?”
Evelina reddened, raising her chin again. “It has not,” she said. “But I will not lie. I would happily give myself to him, but for the consequences.” She turned back to her father, staring at him, her heart pounding hard. “We truly love one another, Papa. Neither of us intended it, but it happened. I do not regret it for a moment. In fact, I would do it all over again, just to experience the joy of it.”
Her father’s face twisted with sorrow. “Evelina, I always told you to never get too close to the servants,” he said, in a bewildered, befuddled voice. “This is one of the reasons why. This can happen and it can never end well. You have merely brought yourself unnecessary heartache and pain.”
A single tear trickled down her face. Her father didn’t sound angry. He sounded sad, defeated, infinitely full of regret. She was sad she had disappointed him, but she realised she could never apologise for what had happened between Jude and herself. The memory of their lovewasthe only joy in her life, and it must endure for her entire lifetime.
“What will you do to him?” she asked, another tear trickling down her face.
“It is already done,” said her brother in a grim voice. “He has been dismissed without his wages. He is leaving Bosworth today.” He glanced at their father. “I was inclined to punish him more, but Papa insisted that dismissal was enough, on pain of death, that he never return here or attempt to contact you again, Evelina.”
Evelina stifled a sob, pressing a hand against her mouth. She supposed it was the best they could have hoped for. Richard spoke the truth when he said there was more that could have been meted out to Jude for daring to lay a hand upon the lady of the manor. It was only her father’s intrinsic kindness that had stopped it from occurring.
But the pain was still terrible, as was the knowledge that she would never see Jude ever again. It trulywasover now. They had been ripped away from one another. And the worst of it was she couldn’t even say goodbye to him. There was simply no way her father or brother would allow it.
She took a deep breath, trying to keep from bursting into noisy tears. “I take it you will keep this a secret from the Beaumont family if you are intending for me to still marry and not send me to a nunnery?”
Richard gave a short laugh. “Unfortunately, we must inform them,” he said, giving her a withering look. “We cannot afford for them to get wind of it and think we are deceiving them, even though we have bought the maid’s silence.” He paused, frowning. “She may have talked to others about it,even though she insists she hasn’t. But it should not affect the betrothal, if we insist you are still a maiden. However,theymay insist you undergo an examination to prove it, Evelina.”
“Pardon?” she said, her face flushing with confusion and mortification at what her brother had just told her. “They may insist uponwhat?”
“That will never happen,” growled her father, looking affronted and embarrassed in equal measure. “There is simply no way I will subject my daughter to such indignity! If the Beaumont’s will not honour the betrothal without it, then we shall go elsewhere, Richard.”
Richard looked pained. “We may have no choice but to comply if they ask, Papa. It is not just a simple matter any longer. We are trying our best to contain it, but if a scandal breaks out, Evelina must be already married, or at least the marriage must be planned.”
He paused. “There is no other suitor just waiting in the wings to swoop down and marry her. And if a scandal breaks, no proper gentleman will have her. You know how it works as well as I do.”
Evelina’s heart thumped hard with embarrassment. She still didn’t know exactly what an examination to prove her maidenhood would entail, but she had an idea. And her father’s violent objection to it confirmed her misgivings. It was something so intimate and shameful that her father did not want her to suffer the humiliation. A humiliation that her brother was talking about in such a cold, calculating way.
She stood up. She knew she had no right to be affronted, but she was. She had no bargaining chips to play with, but she was willing to throw it all away, anyway.
“You know what?” Her voice was surprisingly calm and level. “You can tell the Beaumont family about my love affair or not. It is your choice.” She took a deep, ragged breath. “But I am telling you now that I will not do such a thing. You can send me to a convent if you like. I do not want to marry that gentleman anyway, so it means nothing to me. I will endure a scandal and the loss of my reputation. Do your worst, Richard.”
Quickly, she turned and left the room, banging the door behind her. She was so angry that it felt like fire zinging through her bloodstream. She started pacing the hallway floor like a caged tiger.
But it was good to be angry, she thought, as another wave of fury swept over her. She no longer wanted to burst into tears. Her terrible sorrow over losing Jude had been pushed away for the moment. She knew it would hit her again later, after the anger had drained away, but for now, she was safe from it.
She took another deep breath. Her world had come crashing down around her and she must pick up the pieces somehow. She had meant what she said to her brother. She would rather be embroiled in scandal, her reputation in tatters, or take holy vows rather than let any of them humiliate her any further.
The only crime she had committed was falling in love with the wrong man. But he was agoodman, and he was a thousand times better than the man they wanted her to marry. Let them do their worst to her. She had nothing left to lose any longer.
Chapter 34
Jude stepped out the back door of the kitchen, taking deep gulps of air into his lungs. He was leaving Bosworth Manor in just under twenty minutes and had been told to never set foot beyond the gates of the estate again. He had been given just enough time to pack his meagre possessions and take his leave.
His mind was spinning violently, still stunned by his short, sharp dismissal. The steward had told him, taking him aside just after breakfast, before the working day had even begun.
The man had been succinct and emotionless, simply telling him that his service was no longer required, that the manor would not provide him with his last wages or give him a reference for future employment. They had already arranged for Lenny to take him to Charingworth to catch a public stagecoach out of the district. A ticket had already been purchased for him on the coach.