He didn’t know whether he spoke her name aloud. But she turned at that moment, seeing him. His breath caught in his throat.
He didn’t know how it happened, but suddenly they bridged the distance between them and they were in each other’s arms. He kissed her upturned face reverently, raining kisses upon it, in a rapture of delight at finding her. He plunged his hands into that black curtain of silk, marvelling at the beauty of it, the softness of it flowing between his fingers.
His hands were seeking her now. Eagerly, he found her breasts, kneading their plump softness, glorying in the hard peaks of her nipples. But he couldn’t wait. His hands swept lower, over her belly, towards the very essence of her womanhood.
He found her at long last. His fingers fell into her warm moistness, stroking her, feeling her open for him. He couldn’t wait a moment longer.
And suddenly, he was inside her, winding himself into her, losing himself within those glorious depths. She was slippery and smooth, and he had never felt anything like it in his life. He knew he would never forget this moment of union as long as he lived.
He was almost there. So close. He strained against her, wanting to climb inside of her, knowing that this was the most perfect moment of his life.
Jude sat up in the bed, his heart racing, panting hard. The darkness surrounded him. He stared into it, unable to comprehend for a moment what was real and what wasn’t.
And then it came crashing down upon him. It wasn’t real. He had been dreaming.
The disappointment was so intense that he groaned aloud. It had seemed so real; he could still taste her, feel her, smell her. He could feel the warm, slippery depth of her. She still surrounded him like an ethereal spirit, not of this world or the other.
Perhaps she would always just live in that dreamworld for him.
He ran a trembling hand over his face. It was true. Evelina wasn’t real, not in the sense that he could ever have her or inhabit her world. The closest he was ever going to get to her was in his dreams. And he had to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life. He didn’t know how he was going to bear it.
Chapter 23
Evelina exhaled slowly as she walked into her father’s study. There was a bundle of nerves in the pit of her stomach. But she knew she must do this now. There was only a very brief opportunity to speak with her father alone before Richard returned to the manor. Her brother was out riding with an old friend for the morning.
The Duke was sitting behind his desk, looking strained and tired. Evelina’s heart lurched with concern for him. She knew she was probably the reason for this; her vehement opposition to the betrothal to Mr. Beaumont was draining him.
She felt a pang of guilt, which she quickly suppressed. She didn’t want to worry him, but she also knew that she couldn’t blindly go along without putting up a struggle just to appease him. Her entire future was at stake.
“Evelina,” he said, in a weary voice. “What can I do for you?”
Evelina sat down in the chair opposite him. She took a deep breath.
“I wanted to speak to you about my betrothal,” she blurted. “I will not take up much of your time.”
He sighed heavily. “Evelina…”
“Papa, I know that the contract has been brokered, and it is done,” she interjected. “I understand. I am not asking you to break it.” She took another deep breath. “What I would like to ask is, could it be a long engagement?”
He stared at her, not speaking. Evelina’s heart thumped painfully.
“I am asking respectfully,” she continued. “This betrothal has been brokered quickly and without much thought. I would like the opportunity to get to know Mr. Beaumont slowly, so that I might enter the marriage feeling fully comfortable with it.”
He sighed again. “You are not asking to break the betrothal, but to extend it?”
She nodded. “I understand my duty. I am not being disrespectful just for the sake of it. It makes little difference when the marriage takes place.” She hesitated. “Richard will still be pacified that I am going to marry. And it means that we may spend more time together at Bosworth before I leave to make my new home. We can both have time to get used to the idea.”
He frowned. “I am trying not to be selfish about this,” he said. “I have been too reliant on you, Evelina, at the expense of your own life and prospects.” He paused. “You understand I am not trying to hurt you with this, do you not? In fact, it is quite the opposite.”
Evelina felt tears spring behind her eyes. “I know, Papa. You are only trying to do the best for me. I do appreciate it.” She gazed at him steadily. “All I am asking for is a little time. Surely, it is not too much to ask?”
He drummed his fingers on the desk as he contemplated her request. Evelina could barely breathe. It seemed an eternity before he replied.
“I will consider it,” he said eventually. “I promise you I will give your request my full attention, and I will let you know the outcome as soon as I have decided.”
Evelina bit her lip. She wanted to keep pleading with him, to gain his assurance right this minute, but she knew she shouldn’t push him too hard. Not yet, at any rate. She had planted the seed in his mind, and that was accomplishment enough for the time being.
“Of course,” she said, standing up. “I would appreciate knowing as soon as you do.” She hesitated. “I suppose I should leave you to your day.”