Dorothy hoped that was the case when she explained everything later.
Chapter 16
Thankfully, much to Dorothy’s relief, once the situation was explained to Frederica, she readily agreed to help her with anything. Although it was a little embarrassing asking her friend to help cover for her while Dorothy went to Lucas’ estate for an illicit rendezvous.
Was it illicit when they were actually courting? Dorothy didn’t know, but she knew that things could go wrong if her family – or anyone – found out what they were doing or about to do. That could ruin her reputation, and she could end up getting married to Lucas before she was ready.
Would she ever be ready to marry Lucas, though? There was a part of her that wouldn’t be opposed to it, but the knowledge of who Lucas was to other women was still there. Dorothy tried to shake it off, but it kept coming back.
It’s just Lady Marcia saying things so she doesn’t have anyone else in the way for Lucas’ attention. She’s just telling lies for her own advantage.
It still has a ring of truth to it. I should be distancing myself from her.
And yet she just couldn’t. Dorothy was stuck. With a predicament like this, she should be putting distance between herself and Lucas. But she couldn’t do it. Dorothy just had to have him around; otherwise, she felt lost and alone.
She hated that feeling and hated that it was happening because of Lucas.
The man was like an addiction. Why couldn’t she fall in love with someone safe?
There. She had said it. She was in love with Lucas. And it left her feeling more confused than ever.
After a fitful sleep, Dorothy rose and went about getting herself ready in a daze. It felt like she had been running with her heart racing so fast that she felt a little light-headed. Then again, she had agreed to meet Lucas again, and she would be alone with him. She was not stupid enough to know that it wouldn’t be an innocent meeting. Of course they would be doing more than kissing if last night before dinner was anything to go by.
She should have been saying no. This was not how a lady behaved. And yet she didn’t care. Dorothy wanted this, even if she didn’t want to think about the aftermath.
After dressing and trying to look relatively presentable, Dorothy headed downstairs. Her mother was already in the dining room, along with Frederica. Both women looked up as Dorothy came into the room.
“Good morning, Dorothy,” Lady Bedford said with a smile. “Have some breakfast. You have a busy morning.”
“Oh?” Dorothy looked at Frederica. “Is that so?”
Frederica held up her hands to say that she hadn’t said anything. Lady Bedford picked up a slim calling card and held it out to her daughter.
“This is from Lord Burville. He’s going to be coming over later this morning. I’ve already told the kitchen there will be an extra person for lunch.”
“What?” Dorothy’s heart sank. “But … Frederica and I were going to go out and meet Lord Dashwood. We were going for a walk around his estate. We did talk to you and Father about this last night.”
“I know you did, dear, but this came in this morning. I can’t exactly tell Lord Burville that he can’t come, can I?”
Normally, Dorothy would be fine with seeing her friend, even if he was making things awkward around Lucas. But she didn’t want to see him this morning.
“What about Lord Dashwood?”
“You can see him this afternoon. I’m sure he won’t mind if you see him a few hours later.” Lady Bedford shrugged as she picked up her teacup. “You can just send a message and say it’s this afternoon instead of this morning.”
Dorothy didn’t know what Lucas would say to that. She looked at Frederica, whose expression said she wasn’t entirely sure how to pursue this. Dorothy turned back to her mother.
“Can’t we move Lord Burville’s visit to later this afternoon, Mother? I don’t mind seeing him for tea instead.”
Lady Bedford frowned.
“Don’t be silly. I approved of him coming this morning.”
“Even though you knew that I had a prior engagement.” Dorothy put her hands on her hips. “I thought you approved of me being courted by Lord Dashwood. Why do I feel like you’re being disruptive over my courtship?”
“Darling, I’m happy that you’ve got a gentleman interested in you, and I’m pleased that Lord Dashwood has finally come around, and he wants to see you as we wished. But you can’t be impolite and turn down someone coming to see you. I thought Lord Burville was a … friend?”
Dorothy wasn’t sure how to take that implication. It felt like her mother was questioning her and seeing her reaction. Did she think she was courting two men at once? Dorothy didn’t think so.