“A very long dream, Your Majesty. ”
“And yet, now we’re here. I’m enjoying myself very much. I like being alive better. ”
“But how?” Piper asked. “You didn’t happen to have a … patron?”
Midas hesitated, but there was a sly twinkle in his eyes. “Does it matter, my dear?”
“We could kill them again,” Hedge suggested.
“Coach, not helping,” Jason said. “Why don’t you go outside and stand guard?”
Leo coughed. “Is that safe? They’ve got some serious security. ”
“Oh, yes,” the king said. “Sorry about that. But it’s lovely stuff, isn’t it? Amazing what gold can still buy. Such excellent toys you have in this country!”
He fished a remote control out of his bathrobe pocket and pressed a few buttons—a pass code, Jason guessed.
“There,” Midas said. “Safe to go out now. ”
Coach Hedge grunted. “Fine. But if you need me …” He winked at Jason meaningfully. Then he pointed at himself, pointed two fingers at their hosts, and sliced a finger across his throat. Very subtle sign language.
“Yeah, thanks,” Jason said.
After the satyr left, Piper tried another diplomatic smile. “So … you don’t know how you got here?”
“Oh, well, yes. Sort of,” the king said. He frowned at Lit. “Why did we pick Omaha, again? I know it wasn’t the weather. ”
“The oracle,” Lit said.
“Yes! I was told there was an oracle in Omaha. ” The king shrugged. “Apparently I was mistaken. But this is a rather nice house, isn’t it? Lit—it’s short for Lityerses, by the way—horrible name, but his mother insisted—Lit has plenty of wide-open space to practice his swordplay. He has quite a reputation for that. They called him the Reaper of Men back in the old days. ”
“Oh. ” Piper tried to sound enthusiastic. “How nice. ”
Lit’s smile was more of a cruel sneer. Jason was now one hundred percent sure he didn’t like this guy, and he was starting to regret sending Hedge outside.
“So,” Jason said. “All this gold—”
The king’s eyes lit up. “Are you here for gold, my boy? Please, take a brochure!”
Jason looked at the brochures on the coffee table. The title said GOLD: Invest for Eternity. “Um, you sell gold?”
“No, no,” the king said. “I make it. In uncertain times like these, gold is the wisest investment, don’t you think? Governments fall. The dead rise. Giants attack Olympus. But gold retains its value!”
Leo frowned. “I’ve seen that commercial. ”
“Oh, don’t be fooled by cheap imitators!” the king said. “I assure you, I can beat any price for a serious investor. I can make a wide assortment of gold items at a moment’s notice. ”
“But …” Piper shook her head in confusion. “Your Majesty, you gave up the golden touch, didn’t you?”
The king looked astonished. “Gave it up?”
“Yes,” Piper said. “You got it from some god—”
“Dionysus,” the king agreed. “I’d rescued one of his satyrs, and in return, the god granted me one wish. I chose the golden touch. ”
“But you accidentally turned your own daughter to gold,” Piper remembered. “And you realized how greedy you’d been. So you repented. ”
“Repented!” King Midas looked at Lit incredulously. “You see, son? You’re away for a few thousand years, and the story gets twisted all around. My dear girl, did those stories ever say I’d lost my magic touch?”
“Well, I guess not. They just said you learned how to reverse it with running water, and you brought your daughter back to life. ”
“That’s all true. Sometimes I still have to reverse my touch. There’s no running water in the house because I don’t want accidents”—he gestured to his statues—“but we chose to live next to a river just in case. Occasionally, I’ll forget and pat Lit on the back—”
Lit retreated a few steps. “I hate that. ”
“I told you I was sorry, son. At any rate, gold is wonderful. Why would I give it up?”
“Well …” Piper looked truly lost now. “Isn’t that the point of the story? That you learned your lesson?”
Midas laughed. “My dear, may I see your backpack for a moment? Toss it here. ”
Piper hesitated, but she wasn’t eager to offend the king. She dumped everything out of the pack and tossed it to Midas. As soon as he caught it, the pack turned to gold, like frost spreading across the fabric. It still looked flexible and soft, but definitely gold. The king tossed it back.
“As you see, I can still turn anything to gold,” Midas said. “That pack is magic now, as well. Go ahead—put your little storm spirit enemies in there. ”
“Seriously?” Leo was suddenly interested. He took the bag from Piper and held it up to the cage. As soon as he unzipped the backpack, the winds stirred and howled in protest. The cage bars shuddered. The door of the prison flew open and the winds got vacuumed straight into the pack. Leo zipped it shut and grinned. “Gotta admit. That’s cool. ”
“You see?” Midas said. “My golden touch a curse? Please. I didn’t learn any lesson, and life isn’t a story, girl. Honestly, my daughter Zoe was much more pleasant as a gold statue. ”