Chapter Six
Ripley was right about the solstice. Cafe Book was so busy Mia had taken on two part-time clerks for the shop and added another behind the cafe counter.
The run on the vegetarian dishes over a two-day period kept Nell in a constant state of panic.
"We're running low on eggplant and alfalfa," she said as Peg came on shift. "I thought I'd calculated. . . Hell. " She yanked off her apron. "I'm going to run down to the market, get what I can. I may have to substitute, change the menu for the rest of the day. "
"Hey, whatever. Don't sweat it. "
Easy for you to say, Nell thought as she rushed downstairs. She'd run out of hazelnut muffins by noon, and there was no way the chocolate chunk cookies were going to last the day at the rate they were disappearing. It was her responsibility to make certain everything in the cafe ran as Mia expected it to run. If she made a mistake-
In her rush to the back door, she all but ran over Lulu.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot. Are you all right?"
"I'll live. " Lulu brushed fussily at her shirt. The girl had put in a good three weeks' work, but that didn't mean Lulu was ready to trust her. "Slow down. Just because you're off shift doesn't mean you have to run out of the place like it's on fire. "
"No, I'm sorry. Is Mia-would you tell Mia I'm sorry, and that I'll be right back?"
She bolted out the door and didn't stop running until she was in the produce section of Island Market. Panic and dread churned in her stomach. How could she have been so stupid? Buying supplies was an essential part of her job. Hadn't she been told to expect larger crowds over the solstice weekend? A moron could have done a better job planning for it.
The pressure in her chest was making her head light, but she forced herself to think, to study her choices, to select. She filled her basket quickly, waiting in agony in the checkout line as the minutes ticked away.
Dorcas chatted at her, and Nell managed to make some responses while all the while her brain was screaming: Hurry!
She gathered the three heavy bags and, cursing herself for not thinking to bring her car, began to carry them as quickly as she could manage back to the shop.
"Nell! Nell, wait a minute. " Shaking his head when she didn't respond, Zack jogged across the street. "Let me give you a hand with those. "
It amazed her she didn't jump straight out of her sneakers as he reached out, took two of the bags. "I can get them. I can do it. I'm in a hurry. "
"You'll move faster if you're not weighed down. Supplies for the cafe"
"Yes. Yes. " She was nearly running again. She could get another salad put together. Ten minutes, fifteen tops. And prep the ingredients for sandwiches. Then she could deal with the sweets. If she could get started right away, there might not be any gap.
"I guess you're pretty busy. " He didn't like the look on her face. It was so grim, so set. Like someone about to go to war.
"I should've anticipated. There's no excuse for it. "
She shoved through the back door of the shop, bolted up the stairs. By the time he got to the kitchen, she was already unbagging.
"Thank you. I can take care of it now. I know what to do. "
She moved like a dervish, Zack thought, her eyes glassy and face pale.
"I thought you got off at two, Nell. "
"Two?" She didn't bother to look up, but continued to chop, grate, mix. "No. I made a mistake. I have to fix it. Everything's going to be all right. It's going to be fine. No one's going to be upset or inconvenienced. I should have planned better. I will next time. I promise. "
"Need two sandwich specials and a veggie pita-Jeez, Nell," Peg murmured as she stepped to the doorway.
Zack put a hand on her arm. "Get Mia," he said quietly.
"Two specials and a veggie. Okay. Okay. " Nell set the bean-and-cucumber salad aside, hauled out the sandwich ingredients. "I bought some more eggplant, so we'll be fine. Just fine. "
"No one's upset, Nell. You don't need to worry. Why don't you sit down a minute?"
"I only need a half hour. Twenty minutes. None of the guests will be disturbed. " She picked up the orders, spun around, then jerked to a halt as Mia came in. "It's all right. Really, it's all right. We'll have plenty of everything. "
"I'll take those. " Peg eased by, slipped the orders out of Nell's hand. "They look great. "
"I'm just putting together a new salad. " There were bands around her chest, around her head. Tightening, tightening. "It won't take any time at all. Then I'll take care of the rest. I'll take care of it. Don't be angry. "
"No one's angry, Nell. I think you should take a break now. "
"I don't need one. I'll just finish. " In desperation, she grabbed a bag of nuts. "I know I should've planned better, and I'm terribly sorry, but I'll make sure everything's perfect. "
He couldn't stand it, couldn't stand to see her standing there, trembling now, her face white. "Hell with this," Zack spat, and stepped toward her.
"Don't!" She stumbled back, dropping the bag, flinging her arms up as if to guard her face from a blow. The moment she did, shame smothered panic.
"Oh, baby. " Zack's voice was ripe with sympathy. She could do nothing but turn away from it.
"I want you to come with me now. " Mia moved to her, took her hand. "All right? Come with me now. "
Miserably embarrassed, helplessly shaken, Nell let herself be led away. Zack jammed his hands in his pockets and felt useless.
"I don't know what got into me. " The fact was, the last hour was largely a blur.
"I'd say you had a big, whopping panic attack. Now sit down. " Mia walked across her office, opened what Nell had taken to be a file drawer. Instead she saw a mini-fridge stocked with small bottles of water and juice.
"You don't have to talk to me," Mia said as she stepped over, gave Nell an opened bottle of water. "But you should think about talking to someone. "
"I know. " Rather than drinking, Nell rubbed the chilled bottle over her face. It was beyond ridiculous, she thought now, falling to pieces over eggplant. "I thought I was over it. That hasn't happened in a really long time. Months. We were so busy, and supplies were running low. It got bigger and bigger in my mind until I thought if I didn't get some more eggplant, the world was going to end. " She drank now, deeply. "Stupid. "
"Not stupid if you were used to being punished for something just that petty in the past. "
Nell lowered the bottle. "He's not here. He can't hurt me. "
"Can't he? Little sister, he's never stopped hurting you. "
"If that's true, it's my problem. I'm not a dishrag anymore, I'm not a punching bag or a doormat. "
"Good to hear. "
She pressed her fingers to her temple. She had to let something out, she realized. Lift something off, or she'd break again. "We had a party once and ran out of martini olives. It was the first time he hit me. "
Mia's face registered no shock, no judgment. "How long did you stay with him?"
There was no censure in the question, no slick surface of pity or underlying smugness. Because the question was asked in a brisk and practical tone, Nell responded in kind. "Three years. If he finds me, he'll kill me. I knew that when I left. He's an important man. Wealthy, connected. "
"He's looking for you?"
"No, he thinks I'm dead. Nearly nine months now. I'd rather be dead than live the way I was living. That sounds melodramatic, but-"
"No, it doesn't. The employment forms you filled out for me? Are they safe?"
"Yes. My grandmother's maiden name. I broke some laws. Computer hacking, false statement, forged documents to get new identification, a driver's license, Social Security number. "
"Computer hacking?" Lifting a brow, Mia smiled. "Nell, you surprise me. "
"I'm good with computers. I used to-"
"You don't have to tell me. "