Their reaction was visceral. They each reached for me, and it was sudden and overwhelming, and I drew back. “Why would we break up with you?” Jake asked.
“You’re busy,” I said. “You might lose your license. Just having me in your life is screwing everything up.” I sniffled and rubbed at my eyes with the back of my hand. “Adding a baby to that? Can you imagine?” A sob was building in my chest, but I tried my best to swallow it down.
The three men were still for a moment before they practically threw themselves at me. Thomas reached me first, and he pulled me out of my chair and against his chest. “What are you even talking about?” he murmured in my ear. “Do you think so little of us? That we would justabandonyou?”
I wanted to look at him, but I couldn’t. Instead, I clung to him with my face buried in his neck. “I love you,” I said. “I love all of you so much. I just don’t want to ruin your lives.”
“Beautiful, look at me,” Thomas said coaxingly, and gritting my teeth, I was able to pull my face away and tip back to look at him. “Nothing you could do would ruin our lives faster than if you shut us out. Do you understand?”
I didn’t, not really. If I had never slept with Jake at that wedding, if I’d never confessed my attraction to Zach, their lives would be totally different right now. “You can’t tell me that you want to be a father,” I told him. “Wouldn’t you have had one already if you did?” I glanced at Jake. “And your son is married with a child and one on the way. You can’t tell me that you want to start all over again.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth,” Jake said.
Anger fizzled through me. “Oh, yeah? So, tell me what you think about having a baby at your age with someone who was more age appropriate for your son. Go ahead.” The words were ugly, and I hated myself for saying them, but the crippling weight in my chest was blocking out rational thought.
I didn’t know what I was expecting, a tirade, maybe, but Jake didn’t even blink. “Does having a child at my age scare me? Absolutely,” he said. “But the idea of your carrying my child isn’t scary at all.”
“It might not be your child,” I pointed out.
Jake sighed, disappointed, and for a bleak second, I thought that I had pushed too hard. I’d finally said the thing that was too far. Instead, he held out his arms, and Thomas let me go so that Jake could take over holding me. “As far as I’m concerned, that baby is my baby as much as it’s Thomas’s baby and Zach’s baby. The biology doesn’t matter.”
The fear that had been shoring up my spine started to melt away, like sand being eroded by waves lapping at a beach, and I slumped in his grasp. “You mean that?”
“I do.”
“Same here,” Zach said, and Thomas echoed him. “We all want to be a part of raising this child... if that’s what you want.”
I could cry all over again. My heart ached with all the things I wished that I could say. “I want that,” I murmured, unable to make myself any louder. I felt Jake’s lips against my forehead, and I tipped my head back so that those lips could land on mine. His fingers threaded into the hair at the base of my skull. He kissed me like he was afraid I’d disappear.
“Share,” Zach said, and with a little displeased sound, Jake shifted back. I turned and reeled Zach into my arms. Our mouths met, and a sigh bubbled up from my throat.
Thomas didn’t have to ask for attention. After a few moments, Zach let me go, and Thomas took his place. His kiss was deeper, and with the slide of his tongue against mine lighting me up from the inside out, dirtier.
The muscles low in my stomach clenched, and pureneedhit me. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, and he moaned into my mouth. The thrust of his tongue into my mouth was downright sinful, and I ached for his mouth to find other places on my body. “I need...” I gasped.
Thomas reached down and took hold of my thighs, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist. “You need to know that we’re not going anywhere,” he said, and I nodded.
He carried me into my living room and sat down on my couch so that I was straddling his lap. I could hear, more than see, Zach and Jake follow after us. Thomas kissed down my throat as his fingers worked open the buttons on my blouse. After the last button was undone, the shirt was pulled off down my shoulders. Lips touched the back of my neck, and Thomas pulled down my bra cup to free my breast from the lace and satin.
I sighed when his fingers found my nipple and rolled it slightly. “So beautiful,” he murmured. His lips took over for his fingers. I shivered helplessly in his grasp. A hand ran down my abdomen and teased at the waistband of my pants.
“She’s wearing too many clothes,” Jake said from my right. “Let’s correct that, shall we?” His tone left no room for argument, and so, I climbed off Thomas’s lap. Zach helped me out of the rest of my clothes.
I should have felt vulnerable, being naked in front of them while they were all clothed, but with the way their heated eyes took me in, I felt like a queen or a goddess standing before them. They would touch me any way that I desired, of that I was certain.
Thomas was still sitting on my couch, and I could see how his pants were tented from his arousal. “Open your pants,” I told him. “Get it out for me.”
It wasn’t like I was demure in the bedroom by any means, but I also let them take the lead most of the time... but today, I would call the shots. Thomas opened his pants with shaking hands and pushed them down his thighs. I threw my leg back over his lap and sank down on him. I moaned as he filled me, but when he went to touch me, I put his hands back on either side of the couch where they were. “You touch when I say you can,” I said and used the little leverage I had to ride him.
Thomas hissed as I ground against him, chasing the sensations that had my stomach going tight. “Alex,please,” he grunted. “Let me touch you.”
I shook my head. “Zach,” I called over my shoulder. “Touch me.”
Thomas all but whimpered as Zach came up behind me and kissed my neck. He reached around and touched my breasts, playing with my nipples, and I moaned and rocked faster into the man beneath me. I felt Zach’s cock brush against my lower back and realized that he had lost his clothes at some point. I almost reprimanded him, but I decided I liked how he was trying to do what I asked and not try and rub off on me but couldn’t help himself. “You’re allowed,” I murmured to him, tipping my head back so that he kissed me. “You can make yourself feel good.”
He pasted himself against my pack, wedging himself between my ass cheeks. While I rode Thomas, alternating between grinding and bouncing on him, Zach rubbed against me. It shouldn’t have been something that gave me pleasure, but there was something undeniably sexy about a grown man reduced to whimpers and fleeting touches andstillgetting off on it.
“Please,” Thomas begged. “I need to touch you. Please.”