It should be criminal how cute she looked.
“We’re driving to Santa Barbara,” I said. “No specific destination in mind. I just want to relax.”
Her hand touched my arm. “I’m sorry your week sucked so badly.”
I laced my fingers through hers but kept my eyes on the road. “It’s better now,” I assured her.
“Oh,God, am I going to have to listen to that all day?” Thomas sniped from the backseat. Fuck, why did I bother asking him to come? Why didn’t I just take the time with Alex all for myself?
But Alex’s giggle a split-second later reminded me exactly why. We were meant to besharingher and taking care of her. Without letting go of my hand, Alex twisted so that she was looking back at Thomas. “Do you need some attention too?” she asked.
In the rearview mirror, I could see Thomas grinning. “Nah,” he said and shook his head. “Take care of the whiny baby for now.” He winked. “You can sit back here with me on the way back.”
I bit the inside of my cheek and waited to feel a stab of jealousy... but it didn’t come. Instead, seeing Alex’s warm smile, even if her eyes weren’t on me, made my stomach do a somersault.I want her to be happy, I thought. I wanted her to have that smile whether Zach, Thomas, or I put it there.
I squeezed her hand and brought her eyes back to me. Her smile didn’t shift in the least. My stomach somersaulted again. “I know there’s a pumpkin patch in Santa Barbara that has a corn maze and hayrides. Sound fun?”
Alex’s honey eyes lit up, but she tried to bite back her own smile. “Would it be a total cliché if I was excited about something like that?”
I reached over and eased her bottom lip out from between her teeth. “While it might be cliché,” I said, “I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I thought you might hate it.” I soothed my thumb over her lip, feeling the slight indentations from her teeth. “I’m glad you’re excited.”
“Will there be goats?” Thomas asked from the backseat. “Can we feed them?”
Alex squealed. “Is there a petting zoo?”
I tried to remember what I had read on the pumpkin patch’s website. “I think so,” I said and laughed when both sheandThomas started talking about feeding the goats.They are literal children, I thought fondly. I pressed my foot a little harder on the gas pedal, skirting that line of speeding.
The pumpkin patch was as cute and well-maintained as the pictures showed online. We parked in a lot that was in the shade of a bright red barn. Alex had been practically jumping in her seat since it came into view.
“What’s first?” I asked her as we climbed out of the car. I nearly reached for Alex’s hand and stopped when I saw Thomas do the same. There was a moment of awkwardness, but then Alex grabbed both of our hands and began walking toward the ticket window. I met Thomas’s eyes over her head, but we both went with it. What else could we do? We were far enough from home that any weird looks or questions could be forgotten about.Might as well enjoy it, I thought.
“I want to pet some goats,” she said. Her voice was a little shaky, like she wasn’t entirely certain she’d done the right thing either.
I squeezed her hand, bringing her eyes to mine. “Petting goats sounds fun,” I said, willing her to see that everything would be okay. “After that, let’s hit the hayride? We can finish the day in the corn maze.”
Alex smiled, ducking her face against my arm for a moment before she straightened back up. “Okay,” she said. She didn’t let go of our hands until we were standing in front of the ticket counter and I had to get my wallet.
After paying the woman at the counter—with Thomas grumbling that he could pay for himself the whole while—we followed the crowd into the pumpkin patch. Alex quickly scanned and located the petting zoo and tugged us in that direction.
There were six goats, a sheep, and a donkey penned off for people to feed and pet. it was filled with kids. Their parents stood by the fencing, smiling and taking pictures. “You two go on,” I said, pulling out my phone. “I’ll take pictures.”
Alex leaned up and kissed my cheek. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Go have fun, baby.”
Thomas tugged on her hand. “Come on, sweetheart.”
They walked into the pen. Thomas bought a plastic cup full of pellets and handed it to her. I watched as they walked around and fed each of the goats. Alex favored the littlest one, who had taken to rubbing his head on her leggings.
I took a picture of her, smile wide in obvious glee, and immediately set it as the background of my phone. Thomas must have known because he motioned for me to send the picture to him, and I did.
After the pellets ran out, Alex and Thomas extracted themselves from the goats. The one who loved Alex bleated sadly as she walked away. I met them at the pen entrance with hand sanitizer. “Up to your elbows, the both of you,” I said.
“Thanks,Dad,” she teased. We both tensed. Her words had landed like a sucker punch, and I could see the guilt on her face. “Jake—”
I shook my head. “It’s fine,” I said, trying to play it off as no big deal. “It was bound to happen, right?”
Our ages were always going to be the most glaring thing about our relationship. She may not always work for me, and the fact that we were sharing her could never truly be made public... but we couldn’t hide our age difference. We either had to get used to it now, or this wouldn’t work.