“Why won’t you look at me?”
Because then he would see what this was costing her. Before she could regroup, though, a hand gently grasped her chin.
She shied back, pulse racing.
“Shh, it’s just me. You’re safe. Hear my voice. You’re safe.”
“I’m so sick of doing that.” She swiped at her eyes. “God damn it.”
“I know, baby girl. But you have to give yourself a break.”
“I told you not to call me that. And I have to do better.”
“Are you always so hard on yourself?”
She shrugged. What did that mean? How was it being hard on yourself when it was just the truth?
“You need to ease up. Calling yourself names, putting yourself down, thinking you’re not good enough. That has to stop.”
He tilted up her face and she didn’t bother to fight him. Because she was learning that what Zander wanted, he got. And it wasn’t like she had anywhere to hide.
“Happy now?” she asked. She tried to snap at him, but it came out a soft whisper.
“No, I’m not happy.”
She winced. Right.
“How can I be happy when my girl is upset?” He wiped the tears from her face with the fingers of his other hand.
Fuck, she wished he’d stop being so sweet. It was killing her.
“I’m not your girl, Zander.”
“You’re going to be.”
She took a step back, shaking her head. Why couldn’t he get it through his thick skull that this wasn’t happening? What was wrong with him anyway? Dumb man couldn’t see that she was trying to do what was best for him?
“I’m not dumb. I told you, I have a better than average IQ.”
“Crap. I said that out loud?”
“Yes, and you don’t get to decide what’s best for me, baby girl. Only I can do that.”
She threw her shoulders back. “Like only I can decide what’s best for me. And I’ve decided—”
He put his free hand over her mouth, quieting her.
“No.”
No? Was he serious right now? She narrowed her gaze at him and took a step back, away from him. He dropped his hands and she felt the loss of his touch.
But this was for the best. He needed to stop thinking about her this way.
“You don’t get to decide that while your head is clouded with rubbish and mistruths.”
“I’ve done just fine on my own, I don’t need some bossy, egotistical jerk telling me what to do.”
There. She’d said it. With as much strength in her voice as she could manage.