Okay, this was really alarming. She seized hold of his hand, squeezing. “Zander, don’t die.”
“I’m not going to die. I’m very careful.”
It didn’t sound like it.
“I just seem to piss people off on a regular basis. I can’t help it if they’re sensitive.”
Right.
“But I don’t think you should get your license. I don’t want you driving on the roads.” He frowned. “It’s not safe. Most people out there are terrible drivers.” He shook his head. “The more I think about it, the less I like the idea. You need to stay here, where it’s safe and if you need to go out, I will take you. Maybe I should look into a Hummer. Military grade. Something that will keep you fully protected.”
“You can’t protect me from everything, Zander.”
“I can damn well try. Nothing is going to happen to you.”
“Are you so worried about something happening to me because you lost your parents and uncle?”
He immediately froze. She saw it. A shutter came down over his face. Disappointment filled her that he didn’t feel like he could confide in her. But she also got it. He didn’t fully trust her and she shouldn’t expect it.
Even though she fully trusted him.
She hadn’t flinched away from him at all today and yesterday it only happened twice. Sure, there would be setbacks, but she was certain that she would keep moving forward.
It still hurt that he wasn’t at the same place as her, though.
Then he let out a deep breath, leaning his head forward until it rested on the bed. She sat up, worried about him.
“Zander?” She ran her fingers through his hair. “Zander, are you all right? I’m sorry I asked. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”
“No,” he said in a muffled voice. Then he sat up, looking straight at her. She saw pain and resignation in his face. “No, I’m sorry for reacting like that. But I guess it’s partly due to losing my parents so young. But mostly because of the way my uncle died. He . . . he took his own life two days after I turned eighteen. I never even realized, but he must have been waiting for me to be old enough to be on my own, I guess.”
Eighteen was old enough to be on your own? God. She couldn’t even imagine how he must feel.
“I’m so sorry, Zander.” She climbed out of bed and into his lap. He held her tight.
“He was the only person I knew. My only family. I’d lived with him since I was seven and my parents died. He was odd and paranoid. He thought that people were looking for him. The only time we ever saw other people was when we made a monthly trip into town. We were so isolated, but I didn’t even realize how different we were until I had to leave the island and move out into the world. Fuck, it was so hard. Trying to understand other people. Their motives, their emotions. I couldn’t do it. I ended up joining the Navy because at least it had structure. I didn’t need the money, my uncle left me with plenty. Enough to create this place. But there were rules, and I had a reason to get up in the morning.”
“I’m so sorry that happened, Zander. That he left you that way.”
“I found him. I still think about it sometimes, all these years later. I wish I’d known.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You can’t think that.”
He nodded. But she wasn’t sure that he got it.
“How did you meet your team?” she asked, sensing that he needed a change of topic.
“Ah, well, I met them at different stages. The Navy, even though it helped me a lot, well, I didn’t actually like being told what to do that much. I met Ammo in the Navy. Saved his life and for some reason he decided that meant he was bound to me.” He shook his head. “I didn’t really understand what he meant, but when I decided to leave the Navy at the end of my enlistment period, he said he was coming with me.” He shrugged. I already had an idea of what I wanted to do. I was good at hunting. Figured I’d search for people that the cops couldn’t find. So for a while, we worked as bond recovery agents.”
“Really? Like that guy on TV?” she asked, practically bouncing on his lap.
“Not exactly. Things are a bit different in real life. That’s how I met Eli.”
“Really? How? Did he work as a cop or something?”
“Oh no, he was a criminal.”
“What?”