“It doesn’t mean anything, so don’t read anything into it,” she forced herself to reply.
Shit it was hard not to throw herself into his arms, though. Not to beg him to hold her.
To never let her go.
“Really? You don’t like it?”
She shrugged nonchalantly. She should tell him she didn’t like it. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t keep this up.
He’d done it. He’d finally put a firm dent in her shields.
Fuck.
“The gifts are nice, Zander. But they don’t change anything. I can’t . . . I can’t stay.”
“Why not?”
It would be so nice to unburden herself. To tell him everything and have him fix things. But this wasn’t his fight.
Keira had been taught to keep things close to her chest. If the cops came to the door, you didn’t tell them that your dad had been selling drugs in the apartment the night before. If Child Protective Services asked you questions, you never told the truth.
While she knew that Zander would likely want to help, there was no way he could take this on.
Not without getting harmed.
And she wanted to protect him.
She also admitted to selfishly not wanting him to know just how much of a terrible person she was. The full truth of her life wasn’t pretty. If he knew it all . . . well, he wouldn’t look at her the same.
“I can’t tell you.”
“You don’t trust me enough yet, but you will.”
“Are you always this confident about everything?”
“Yes.”
She shook her head, smiling. She wished she could have a tenth of his confidence.
“I know that I can convince you. I know that you’ll be mine. And I know that I can keep you safe, Keira. All you need to do is figure that out as well, then we can get on with our lives.”
If it was just that simple . . .
Maybe it could be. Maybe she should tell him.
No. No, it could only end in disaster.
Bartolli would kill him. And she’d never forgive herself.
“You should just walk away, Zander.”
“What? Like everyone else in your life?”
Ouch. She winced. That really hurt.
“That hurt you,” he said slowly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He moved forward, crouching down in front of her.
She both loved and hated how he did that. He was so careful of her, which was amazing. But it made her feel silly and troublesome.