“I hope you were careful. You know how someone can pretend to be someone they’re not online. You didn’t give away any personal information, did you? You should never—”
She placed her hand over his mouth. “Ed, are you forgetting what I do for a living?”
He gave her a sheepish look. Then he licked the palm of her hand.
“Eek!” She snatched her hand back from his mouth.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.
“About what? Licking my hand?”
“Oh no, you deserved that. You should never put your hand over Daddy’s mouth. I mean, urgh, my mouth.”
A delicious pink tinge covered his cheeks at his slip-up. But the thing is, it didn’t feel like a slip-up. It felt right to her.
“I was always careful. But I had to know whether I was, whether I could be . . . ”
“A Little?”
“I have dreamed about finding a Daddy and I have dreaded it. Because I’m not supposed to be like this, darn it.” She slammed her fists down on her thighs.
“Hey, hurting yourself is not allowed, understand?” He took her hands in his.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt myself . . . not really.”
“Do you ever try to punish yourself?”
“You mean other than overthinking everything until I feel ill?”
“Shit, that’s not healthy.”
“Maybe I really do need a spanking. That’s what a punishment is meant to do, right? Rid you of guilt?”
“And hopefully prevent you from making the same mistake again.”
So maybe it would work for her. Because she was sick of feeling guilty for being a stuff-up, for not being a good James. For not being good enough. Less than perfect was not acceptable.
“Would you punish me for not doing something right? For not being good enough at something?”
His eyes flared. “No. Never.”
“Even if I asked for it?”
“Baby, that’s not something you should ever be punished for. There’s a vast difference between breaking a rule for your health and safety or a rule that’s for something you need help with and agree to, and being punished for not being . . .”
“Good enough?” she whispered.
He leaned his forehead against hers. “You are good enough. I don’t know where this is coming from, but Georgina Catherine, you are beautiful, brave, smart and you are better than good enough. You are everything.”
She closed her eyes. She wished she was. But she did feel his words placing a balm on the hurt to her soul. Silencing the voice inside, telling her that she’d never get it right. She knew exactly where that voice came from. She felt this way every time she talked to her mother.
“Where is this coming from?” he asked gently.
“My mother. She has a certain view on the way a James should act. And I frequently don’t live up to that view.”
“I know she’s your mother, so I don’t want to overstep, but fuck her.”
She gaped at him. Then she let out a giggle. “Oh God, sorry. I was just imagining her face if you said that to her.”