At the moment I wasn’t thinking much about babies and final goals. I hadn’t had an orgasm, damn it, though I’d given a good approximation of one. I was antsy and restless. I couldn’t bear the thought of staying locked in this position without relief. Ethan tried to stay on top of me, but he was dragged away for clean-up and interviews. Before they pulled him off me, he whispered in my ear, “Thank you.”
Chapter Three
Around two hours later I was finally alone back in the one-bedroom apartment I’d been given six months ago when I’d moved to Windy City. I curled up on the low sofa. The media screen hung on the wall, but I wasn’t paying much attention to news of the day’s Breeding Ceremonies across the nation. I’d been there in the flesh.
Instead, my gaze wandered around the generous apartment. It had everything I could possibly want, including a stocked kitchen, refilled every Friday, and a great big shower. At first I’d laughed when I’d seen the shower. I was used to dormitory public shower stalls. The overly large tiled enclosure had seemed ridiculous to me at first. Now, I was happy about the size. It was large enough for two.
Any minute now Ethan would be done with his camera interviews and escorted to my apartment where we’d be locked away for the next month. It was everything I’d dreamed about, and nothing I’d ever imagined. At fourteen, the best I’d hoped for was forming a platonic partnership with Ethan and maybe doing some kissing. Getting my period had changed everything. Ethan and I had known there’d be no future once I became a Breeder. I’d given up on us, but he’d obviously never given up on me. He’d done what he’d had to, to make sure he’d have a shot at being one of the twelve lucky men.
I’d grown used to living on my own. The first month had been lonely. After living in a dorm room with at least five other girls my whole life, being thrust into an apartment solo had been daunting. Even when given my own room at school, there still hadn’t been privacy at meal times or the bathroom. I’d grown used to my privacy. Too used to it, for now I’d have to share it. First with Ethan, then possibly another man.
There was a knock at the door. I rose to grab it, but the door swung open before I could get there. Ethan stood in the doorway flanked by two large armed guards. We stared at each other but didn’t smile. “They gave me a key,” he said. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“No.” I shook my head. “Of course.” I stepped back and waved a hand. “Come in.” My mouth couldn’t seem to form any more words, and my gaze was locked on him.
He stepped fully into the apartment, shutting the door on the guards behind him. A black backpack was slung over his shoulder. I assumed it held his necessities. “Nice place,” he said, striding over to the large window and gazing out over the rest of the city.
“It is,” I agreed. “It’s a bit quiet, but I’m getting used to that.” We clung to the conventions of small talk. He was obviously feeling as awkward as I was. Nowadays, most people lived with a select group of people after they graduated from being Schoolers to Workers. I’d always assumed I would do the same. I couldn’t imagine living totally alone. A few of my friends had found men at their jobs and formed companionship contracts. It wasn’t exactly like marriages in the olden days, since they couldn’t have sex or have babies, but I guessed it was pretty similar. I’d hoped to form one with Ethan, and now here he was, but the expectations were different.
“How...” I started to ask and gained the courage to walk over to stand next to him. I felt unaccountably shy, which was funny given that we’d already had sex and used to be friends.
He turned to me and caught my gaze. “I think I know what you want to ask. You want to know how this happened? How did I become a candidate?”
I nodded.
He turned away from his position at the window back to me. “I loved you, Jane. Did you think I’d just let that go?”
“We were children. I never dared to dream you could be a candidate.”
A frown crossed his handsome face, starting to shadow with bruises. “Why not? You didn’t think I was strong enough?”
I put a hand on his upper arm. “I was fourteen, and I didn’t let myself dream of you being a candidate. It would’ve led to heartbreak if you didn’t make it.”
Ethan abruptly dropped his backpack at his feet with a thud and turned to face me. I shivered at the feel of his large hand on my bare shoulder. “I’m glad I didn’t break your heart.”
He was staring down at me with an intense look that I couldn’t interpret.
“I think I owe you something,” he said.
I was hyperaware of his nearness. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“Yes, I do.” His voice was deep and rough. “I believe I owe you an orgasm.”
My lips parted and I stumbled over to the low sofa, losing his touch. “That’s not...it’s...”
“Yes. Let me.” He stalked to me, and I could see how he’d gone from a teenage farm apprentice to a candidate in six years.
“Are you still a farmer?” I blurted with all the subtlety of a dog asking for scraps from the table.
He’d been about to sink to the plush patterned carpet, but stopped mid-squat. His eyes narrowed. “I’m now the manager of a food farm on the edge of the city.”
I was impressed. Managers, especially at a food farm, had to be strong and smart. Maybe a little ruthless too in order to achieve that level. His knees hit the carpet and he leaned over me, hands wrapping around my ankles. “Let me touch you. Please.”
I was feeling unaccountably shy, especially considering that earlier that day, I’d been naked and fucked for the whole world to see. Yet now, alone in my—our—apartment, I was flushing and nervous. “Shouldn’t we talk first, you know, get to know each other?”
“We already know each other, but I will never force you.” His hands pulled back to rest on his strong thighs and he stared at me, barely blinking. “But know this.”
I couldn’t move my gaze off his serious face.