I was at a complete loss how I could to reassure her any more than I already had. Why was she even listening to my mom?
This is what she did. Rebecca Adler loved to cause chaos and Arya was letting her do that.
“I’m sorry you’re exhausted. I am too. I’m just scared that you’re going to realize that I’m not enough for you. When Regina comes to visit, you’ll see how easy it would be to just get back together with her. You wouldn’t have to deal with me or your mom or anything.”
I scrubbed both hands up and down on my forehead, clamping my eyes together in a grimace. When my vision cleared, I saw her standing there. The light from the moon was just barely making it past the tree cover, but it was enough to make her features glow. I saw sadness and pain in her eyes. Sorrow was set in the slight downturn of her lips. A slight breeze caught her hair, and it flowed around her. She looked young, beautiful, and lonely.
“Arya,” I said, pausing to try to collect my thoughts. “I want you. I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t want you. Or if I wanted to be with Regina. Nothing is going to change that. I figured my shit out with Regina a while ago now. I know it's hard for you to understand because you're just stepping into my story now, but things have been bad with Regina for years. We have been through a divorce process that is long and arduous. We have managed to become good friends now. It's in my past and it feels like everyone in this small town can't quite get past it. I’m not like the boys around here that you’ve dated, Arya. I’m a man and I know what I want. And like I said, I want you.”
Her eyes were glittering, and I just wanted to reach out and wipe the tears away. But I stood still, my heart breaking as she slowly shook her head.
“I don’t know, Tristan. I don't know if I can handle everything. It seems so 'in my face', being around your mom the past few days.”
“Not that it necessarily matters, but Regina is excited to meet you next week. Shiloh has been telling her all about you. So have I.”
I paused, not knowing if I should continue. I was getting a little frustrated that Arya wouldn’t believe me. I had never given her a reason not to trust me. “And she’s seeing someone else, too, by the way. We have both moved on and we are both so happy for each other. Our marriage didn’t work, and we had the maturity to call it a day instead of not living the lives we both wanted. The life we had together changed into something that neither of us wanted.”
“Okay,” she said.
Okay? Every cell in my body was screaming with need. The need to touch her. The need for her to say more. The need to tell her I loved her and I wanted to spend every night of the rest of my life with her.
But I didn’t want to scare her off.
So instead, I just started walking toward the creek again. She followed and soon we were in the little clearing, listening to the water as it slowly meandered its way south.
As far as need went, she needed time to figure out what she wanted. I’d give her time. It was likely to drive me insane, but I’d give that to her.
“Shooting star!” she suddenly exclaimed, pointing toward the sky. “Make a wish.”
I wished harder than I ever had before.
My wish was simple–I wished that I could be Arya’s and that no one would come between us.
Chapter 20
Arya
TristanandIwereavoiding each other. As the days stretched on, cooking and baking were the only things that kept me distracted.
My entire body was in pain from missing him. I missed his goofiness. I missed our conversations that seemed to be about nothing but revealed what a kind person and dad he was. I missed how he paid attention to me and actually asked me about my life.
Mostly, I just missed how it felt to be around him. He had a way of making people feel important. And given his status as a successful, wealthy businessman and skilled surgeon, it was surprising.
It was an extra horrible feeling knowing that I could be with him, but my head was messing everything up.
I turned to the meatloaf I had just squished into a loaf pan. I slid it into the oven, closed the door, and set the timer. Sweat was beading on my brow. I went to the small half powder room and splashed some cold water on my face. After patting it dry, I looked in the mirror and saw the dark circles under my eyes, pale skin, and withdrawn eyes. I hadn’t slept and I couldn’t remember the last time I had a nourishing meal, or even a glass of water.
I had been seriously thinking about quitting work. I was taking on more hours at the bakery and could get a different part-time job to pay the bills. I didn’t think I was going to be able to survive being around here when Regina visited–which was only in a day or two.
Mason had been complaining about some changes at work that were affecting his job. I was worried that Rebecca was behind it somehow. I was just glad that the bakery was at a point where it could weather whatever Rebecca tried to do around town.
Deep down, I knew Tristan wasn’t trying to hurt me. But his family was another story.
“Are you okay?” My mom asked, peeking around the open powder room door?
I shook my head and waved off her question.
“I’m okay,” I said, walking back to the kitchen. “I was just thinking about my schedule tomorrow.”