I heard the ladies outside cooing over Shiloh when she walked out.
But I stayed inside, my mind swirling. My feelings for Tristan were getting complicated and I was frustrated with myself for even listening to Rebecca. Of course, Tristan didn’t still love Regina. He had told me that, and I believed him completely.
But, still…
Anything could happen. What if he realized that Regina could give him more out of life? She was closer to his age, had an established career, and generally had her shit together. Unlike me.
What if he missed his life in New York?
What if he missed having his family together?
What if he decided I wasn’t enough?
Tristan
I found myself outside Arya’s window again, throwing pebbles like a teenager. She appeared, and my heart stopped. I would have given anything to be in that room with her.
“Tristan, it’s late,” she whispered loudly. It was close to eleven, and I felt badly waking her up like this, but I needed to see her.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I whispered back, giving her a sheepish grin.
“You want to come up?” she asked after a brief hesitation. A hesitation that made me wonder if we were okay.
“How about we take a walk?”
Another hesitation.
“Okay, just give me a few minutes.”
She disappeared from the window, and I saw the flashlight from her phone move around the room as she was getting ready. I wandered over to the front porch and patiently waited, trying not to worry about her hesitation to spend time with me.
A few minutes later, she walked out the front dressed in black bike shorts and a cropped gray sweatshirt. It was still warm outside, but considerably cooler than the daytime heat. The world hummed around us– crickets, owls, and other critters. A few late night party animal fireflies beamed in the distance. It was so different from the soundtrack of New York City at night–the sirens, cars honking at all hours, and just general human noise.
This was peaceful. I realized the buzzing that I constantly had in my head had stopped after a few weeks in Bardstown. It was refreshing to be able to think again.
“You have to stop showing up like this,” Arya said beside me with a soft laugh, pulling me away from my thoughts.
“I told you I couldn’t stay away even if I wanted to,” I responded, taking her hand.
But she pulled her hand away. My heart swan-dived into my stomach and I knew something was wrong.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she said. But I knew that wasn’t true.
We walked quietly for a moment. There was an overgrown path in the woods behind our houses that led to a small creek. I hadn’t been out there much since we’d been back because I didn’t want Shiloh to find it and wander to the water. She loved water, and I didn’t want to think about what could happen if she ended up back there alone. It wasn’t particularly deep or fast, but still, not worth the risk.
But it was the perfect place to walk with Arya. We could be alone and away from any prying eyes, because there were definitely prying eyes in this town, even at this hour.
The silence stretched painfully between us.
“I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me,” I said as we kept walking. I hoped that if we walked and talked, she would feel more comfortable opening up to me.
“I hate how complicated all of this is,” she said after a heartbeat of silence. “Your mom was over today and kept talking about how you’re going to get back together with Regina.”
I stopped short, sighing in frustration.
“Arya,” I said into the dark. She hadn’t realized I stopped and was a few feet ahead of me now. “We keep going around in circles about this. It’s getting exhausting.”