I reached for his hand now, unable to control myself this time because he was right, it wasn’t damn fair. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you.”
“I know that. I also know that Austin wasn’t in on it. I thought he knew, but now looking back at it, even though Brandy cheated on me with Austin’s best friend, I know Austin. He’d never do me like that. He’d never hurt me that way.”
My fingers brushed against the top of his fist and he turned to face me, our knees touching. “I’m glad you’re happy because out of all of us, you deserve it the most. And I’m glad he’s in your life because that means…I get him back. That means he’s back in my life, too.”
Tears welled up behind my eyes because I thought we would never get here. I’d accepted the fact that my brother and boyfriend would never have a good relationship given their history. I just wanted them both in my life, even if it was separately
I couldn’t control the emotions pushing to the surface and I pulled him into me and hugged him.
Alec wrapped his arms around my lower back and we were in this awkward hug half off our seats, but I didn’t care as heat formed behind my eyes.
“Syd, I’m sorry for giving you so much grief before about you and Austin. I’m sorry that I was too selfish to see what was good for you, what made you happy. I’m sorry for making the Holidays difficult, making your life difficult ever since you’d been with him. I promise to be better.”
I couldn’t talk because a golf ball sized lump was stuck in my throat and tiny tears fell down my cheeks.
“I love you, big sis.”
It was over. I was a bawling mess. I never thought we’d get here.
“I just needed time,” he said, reading my unvoiced question. “Time to think things through and get over being angry.”
I nodded and pulled back. “I get it Alec. I so get it.”
He pushed out his bottom lip. “Why am I always making you cry? I told myself I didn’t want to do that anymore.”
I held up my hand and crossed my heart. “Promise, these are happy tears.”
We talked and talked and once the tears were dried, laughed until our stomach hurt. I introduced him to the wives and girlfriends of Austin’s teammates. We ate popcorn and a hotdog and had beers. We cheered Austin and the team on for the first victory of the season. And my heart had never been so full.
After the game, we stayed a bit, until everyone had filed out. I stood and reached for Alec’s hand. “Want to come with me to congratulate Austin yourself?”
There was indecision in his eyes and I didn’t want to force him. His confession earlier was enough headway for years, but I firmed up my shoulders and pulled him toward the exit. “Let’s go. Seeing you will make his day, his year even.”
I had a special pass to make it through security all the way to the locker room. The guards and management already knew me by name and face.
I stopped in the hallway. Usually, I’d have to wait until the guys filed out, but I guess Alec and I were chatting away upstairs for a while, because the locker room doors were already open.
“Come on,” I said, dragging him behind me. “I know you’ve been in the locker room before, even if it’s been a while.”
As soon as I walked in, Austin’s eyes lit up as though I was his best present on Christmas morning. Then his eyes landed on Alec and the surprise in them could not be contained. Austin excused himself from the conversation he was having with his teammates, stood from the bench and rushed over to meet me. Immediately, he engulfed me in a hug that sent the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy.
“I missed you.”
I laughed, still engulfed in his embrace. “We see each other all the time,” I whispered. He smelled of clean soap and his pine aftershave and his hair was still damp from his shower. He kissed the nape of my neck, released me and turned his attention to Alec.
“Hey, thanks for coming.” Austin’s smile was genuine. We talked about this, him wanting to reconcile with Alec, but I had always been the one to stop him. I knew that Alec needed time to heal.
Alec rocked on his heels and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “It was a good game. That last strike out….bases loaded. Yeah, I had no doubt you’d put a stop to that.”
They both laugh.
“It felt good to be out on the mound again. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get there. I wish they hadn’t pulled me after the 5thinning, though.”
“You still got the win. No point in pushing your arm too hard.” Alec’s eyes focused on the floor. He adjusted his hat and took a step back. “Well, I better get going. Errands to run. Stuff to do.” His eyes never met mine and my heart plummeted to the floor. The air filled with that same familiar awkwardness I wished would disappear.
I wanted more of their interaction, more of their camaraderie, but maybe this was just it. This was happening way too fast, way too soon. Maybe this was the universe telling me to slow down.
Austin stepped toward him and extended his hand, palm up. “It means a lot to me that you came. Really.”