“Who cares, look! It is the duke!”
Nine
Chapter 9
The ball was ending. Guests slowly moved from the ballroom towards the entry hall to the long line of waiting carriages. Sticking to the shadows, Helen took care to avoid being seen and sought refuge inside one of one of the ladies’ retiring rooms. Plush red couches were strategically placed along the walls. A roaring fire crackled. The candles lighting the room had burned low.
Helen breathed hard and rested her gloved palms against the marble countertop of a side table.
So far, she had been spared being identified as the woman from Hyde Park, but after tonight, it wouldn’t be long until that changed, especially if Mr. Chapman sought to enact revenge against Helen and her father. Her reputation was all that she had.
Her lips quivered.
I was reckless in the garden with Mr. Marcellus. What if we were seen?
A pair of footsteps resounded against the wooden floor. “Helen,” Aunt Sarah called out. She glanced up to see her aunt’s eyes dark with worry. Aunt Sarah quickly closed the distance between them. “Mr. Marcellus was concerned and asked your father, Uncle William, and I to find you. He said you had run away. What’s happened?”
Her body shook. “Oh, Aunt, everything is wrong.” She sobbed into Aunt Sarah’s shoulder.
Aunt Sarah’s arms wrapped around her. “Shh?.?.?. cry. Cry as hard and long as you need to, my dear. Then, when there are no more tears left to let out, we will chat.” She rubbed circles soothingly on Helen’s upper back, and as if she were a child, tenderly rocked her back and forth.
All of the pent-up anger, fear, sorrow, and hurt erupted from her body just as the River Lea had breached the banks and flooded Winterbrook’s fields the year before, consuming everything in its path.
She cried until the skin around her eyes was so dry and raw, it felt as though it might crack. The fire burned low. Few candles in the room remained lit. Neither woman was aware of how much time had passed.
It was Aunt Sarah who finally breached the silence. “Helen, I was never blessed with a daughter of my own, but if I had been, I imagine that she might be like you. I want you to know that I love you so much and that you can always tell me anything.”
Aunt Sarah was the only mother she had ever truly known. She had taken Helen under her wing and guided her above and beyond the role of a godmother.
Helen blinked. “I love you too, Aunt.” Feeling more in control of herself, she breathed deeply. “I’ve made a blunder of everything that you, Papa, and Uncle William had hoped for me.”
Helen recounted what had taken place in garden—her row with Mr. Marcellus and overhearing the vile gossip of the gaggle of women.
“You must not give any credit to a single word uttered by those ladies. It is their jealousy speaking.”
“I know that now, Aunt.” She spoke in an even tone. “And I promise, I won’t.”
“And your gentleman suitor?”
Helen sighed. “I was so angry with the man for withholding information from me, for being late, and for making me feel as if he was using me.” She blew out a long breath “But the truth of the matter is that even after all that, I still find myself caring for him. He brings a smile to my face when he walks into the room.” Her cheeks burned. “I have these strange sensations running through my body when he’s close to me. I’ve never felt that way about another person before.”
Aunt Sarah covered her mouth with her hand and smiled at her encouragingly. “Those strange sensations that you are describing to me?.?.?. Helen, that’s the beginning of what it feels like to be in love.” Aunt Sarah’s eyes danced. “It was the same when I first met your uncle. Right here”—she touched her heart—“there was a lightness and a strong sense of joy that filled my body. With time, our bond has only continued to grow deeper and stronger. I sense the same will be true of you and your young man.”
“I wish it were so.” Helen lowered her head. “But in the heat of the moment, I told Mr. Marcellus that our courtship was at an end.”
“The situation is not nearly as dire as you have presented it.”
“You believe so?” Helen’s gaze met her aunt’s.
“I don’t believe Mr. Marcellus will be willing to let you go so easily. When he materialized in the ballroom, he was a man who was in anguish and clearly concerned for your well-being. He even offered to lead the search himself and would have had your papa not explained that you have always preferred to have time and space to calm yourself.”
Her aunt’s words gave her a spark of hope.
“I hope he will call on us soon.”
“I would be shocked if he did not.” Aunt Sarah smiled at her encouragingly. “Open your heart. Let it guide you. There are so many things about the world you are just on the verge of discovering. What do the writings of Homer teach you?”
Her aunt was beginning to sound like Papa. A ghost of a smile appeared on Helen’s lips. “Life is about the delight of the battle, the adventures one has en route to the final destination.”