Viola’s graduation is tonight,and she hasn’t responded to any of my messages, calls, or emails. It’s been over a week. It’s killing me. I need her so fucking bad. It feels like I can’t breathe without her in my life. As much as it makes me sound like a pussy and an asshole, I don’t think I’ve ever truly felt this way before.
After Viola had stormed out, Drew sent Mia home, and he’s barely looked at me since. The fact that he’s more pissed about me being with his sister than the situation with Mia says a lot about their relationship, but that doesn’t matter because she’s full of shit. She always has been. I’m pissed that I ever supported their toxic relationship because somehow it’s bled into and affected my own.
On top of that, Alyssa has started coming around my office again, offering me her “services,” and it’s taken all of my willpower to calmly ask her to leave instead of kicking her ass out like I so badly want. I’m actually proud of myself for keeping my composure, considering my world is rocking on its axis.
This week fucking blows.
And fuck! I miss Viola.
She should be here with this fucking dog and me. Gryff whines all night long, wakes me up at least three times to go outside, and barks at every car or person who goes by. The little fucker sleeps all day and then wants to play all damn night. I can’t even be mad at him for being so damn annoying because he reminds me of her. When I think about how much she loved him, it makes me smile. He even still smells like her, so when he climbs up on my bed and nuzzles his way under the covers, I wake up with her scent surrounding me, and it’s fucking torture.
Not trying to be a crazy ex, but somehow seeming like one, I parked outside her dorm one night, hoping I’d catch her walking in or out, but she never did. I’m not sure what I would have said to her anyway, so it’s probably best she didn’t. I figure she’s probably staying with Courtney, but I don’t know where she lives, so I’m stuck begging over voicemail for her to return my calls. I’ve left so many messages that her voicemail eventually became too full to receive any more.
I need her to let me explain, to tell her the whole truth and not Mia’s twisted version of the truth. She has every right to be mad at me, but I can’t bear the thought of her flying across the country without seeing or speaking with her first. So even though Drew has made his feelings loud and clear to me about coming to her ceremony tonight, he can’t stop me. Their family is coming, too, so it’s not like she’ll be able to deny my existence.
I’m gone before he arrives home and find myself mindlessly driving around before I end up at the parking lot with a dozen red roses and a card. I scribble a note inside the card and will give it to her whether she wants it or not.
So many smiling faces are walking into the auditorium, and I try really hard to play the part. A lump forms in my throat knowing I will see her for the first time in over a week. Over the years, I’ve given her a million reasons not to trust me, but this time, my innocence is so fucking tragic that Shakespeare could have written it.
Right before the ceremony starts, I find a place to sit. The venue is crowded, and lots of people are holding signs for their loved ones. After the commencement speech, the announcer begins calling names by departments. My body goes rigid when I hearViola Fisherfollowed by summa cum laude. Not that I ever doubted her, but she received the highest honors and I’m genuinely happy for her and so proud. The smile on her face grows, and the tears in her eyes form as she walks across that stage. She’s wanted this for so long, and now the time has come. I wouldn’t have missed this moment for the world.
Hooting and hollering and sounds from air horns come from an opposite corner of the room, and I instantly spot Viola’s parents and Drew. And it fucking hurts not to be sitting with them. They’ve always been my second family, and now I’m the outcast.
Viola sees them, raises her diploma with a fist pump, and walks back to her chair. On top of her graduation cap, I’m pretty sure it says Mischief Managed in golden letters. I can’t help but laugh at her Harry Potter nerdiness.
The next name that strikes my attention is Courtney Bishop, magna cum laude. Holy shit, she’s a little nerd, too.Well, who would’ve guessed that?Courtney walks across the stage with her long blond hair in waves and big high heels, and she treats it like a catwalk. A bunch of high-pitched whistles ring out close to me, and I turn and see what must be her entire family. Most of the men are wearing cowboy hats, and the women’s hair is heaven high. I can’t help but chuckle.
Once the students exit, I watch Viola glance around the room, as if she’s looking for someone.Me, maybe?I want to stand and yell her name, but I stop myself. The time begins to pass quicker, knowing I will see her face-to-face in a matter of minutes. I watch Drew and his dad make their way down the stairs, followed by Viola’s mom and stepdad. Though there are tons of people in the room, I keep my eyes on them, knowing Viola will be searching for them, too. I head outside where everyone is huddled, waiting for their loved ones, and when I turn the corner, I see her. Our eyes lock, and the smile on her face fades. It’s just the two of us in a sea of people, and all I want to do is kiss the fuck out of her. Instead, I tuck my lips inside my mouth and force my way through the crowd toward her. She gently shakes her head, giving me a silent warning, but I don’t care.
Before I’m able to mutter a word, Drew steps up and hugs Viola, pretending I’m not there. Viola looks at him and looks at me, and it breaks my fucking heart that she’s in this situation, which was exactly what she was worried about. Apparently, I’m a liar and betrayed my best friend. It was never supposed to end this way.
I hand her the roses and the card and give her a hug regardless of how stiff her body goes when I touch her. “Congrats, Princess,” I whisper in her ear, before releasing her and walking away. As much as I want to hang around, leaving was the best thing I could do because her parents would force me to stay once they saw me. The last thing I’d ever want is to ruin her special day.
By the time I get back to my car, and I’m out of the parking lot, I feel like a million pounds sits directly on my chest. If I had the ability to go back in time and tell her every detail from the night of the accident, I would, but we all know that only happens in the movies. Where’s a damn time-turner when you need one?
I drive to the campus coffee shop and order one of those organic soy shit coffees and sit at a secluded table away from the dude reading poetry about broken hearts. Regardless of how lost I feel at the moment, I still find myself rolling my eyes. Each time the bell above the door rings out, I look up, hoping it’s Viola. After an hour passes, I drive back to the house, go to my room, and shut the door.
Gryff is so happy to see me, and I feel bad for pushing him away. I lie on my bed, turn on the TV, and he tucks himself beside me.
“It’s just you and me, buddy,” I say as I pet his little head. “But she’ll be back.”
VIOLA
I’m a big ball of emotions. Between all the changes in my life, graduation, moving, and the breakup, I’m a mess. In the past ten days, I’ve felt every emotion that exists as if I’m checking them off a master list. At first, I was hurt, distraught, and upset, which transformed into me being livid about the entire situation. Then I wanted to pull a Courtney and go all crazy ex-girlfriend on his ass. His new Challenger almost got a dozen eggs cracked across its shiny black paint, but instead, I kept my distance. It was the best thing for me to do. I avoided Drew’s house like the plague and even did laundry at Courtney’s this week. But I miss my routine and poor little Gryff.
Drew hasn’t been able to look me in the eye, and I’m just as pissed at him as he is at me. I want to strangle him. And I’ve already warned him that if he even mentions Mia’s name around me, he better call for backup because his police buddies are the only ones that’ll be able to save him. She’s a liar and a cheater, and she’s full of misery. I will no longer sit by and take it. He barely acknowledges my existence, and I won’t accept Mia and him, so we’re at an impasse.
After graduation, our parents take us to dinner, and it’s awkward as hell. Afterward, I drive Drew back to his truck, and we exchange a few sentences with one another, but that’s it. I hate that he’s pissed at Travis and me, but what I hate even more is his stubbornness about the whole situation. As I pull up to his truck, he turns and looks at me, but I speak first.
“Are you going to keep acting like a big ole baby until I leave?” I ask him directly.
He rolls his eyes at me. “My best friend, Viola. Why?” The hurt in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed, and guilt washes over me again. It’s a dirty sensation.
“Please don’t be mad at me. It’s killing me to know you’re throwing away your relationship with me and your best friend.”
“I don’t hate you, Vi. I’m just agitated. I realize you’re leaving. You’re growing up, and I won’t be around to protect you. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for Travis, too. But you both felt the need to lie to me. Two people I trusted with my life both snuck around behind my back together and betrayed me. I should’ve realized it when you got that fucking puppy.” He shakes his head with an aggravated sigh.
Low blow. Gryff was a thank-you gift, but I won’t correct him right now. It’s the first time he’s admitted any of that, and I hate that it’s come to this—that he’s hurting because of our actions. It’s everything I wanted to avoid in the first place, but I know my actions have consequences.