Borrowing? She liked the confident use of that word. ‘Oh?’ Her spirits lifted.
‘Some of your paintings,’ he said, smoothly assuming the protective cloak of his professional demeanour. ‘I meant what I said about admiring them. I’d like to take a few back for the gallery and see how they go. We’ll sell them on commission, of course. I’ll get my secretary to send you our standard contract, and if you have anything you want to renegotiate, you can call me. Oh, and tell George to get in touch with me if he’s serious about doing that launch.’
For ‘contract’ she heard ‘contact’, and everything else faded out as her panicked sense of urgency relaxed. Ryan wasn’t cutting himself out from her life; he wasn’t going back to the mainland in order to forget everything that had happened in the past week. He was making sure she knew that their lives would remain entwined even if only professionally….
They sorted out four paintings, which Nina carefully wrapped with paper and string, then he took his bag over with him to Ray’s. ‘He said Chas Peterson will run me over to the ferry in his car. No sense in us enduring a long public goodbye.’
Nina could see wonderful sense! ‘I thought I’d come down to the wharf with you.’
He shook his head. ‘I’d rather you didn’t. I don’t want to see you standing on that jetty getting smaller and smaller until you wink out of my sight. It’s a kind of private nightmare of mine I’d rather not have visited on me during my waking hours.’
She granted him his fears, but on the eve of his departure he couldn’t stop her flinging herself into his arms for a desperate, yearning kiss as Ray and Chas discreetly turned their attention to loading the boot of the car.
‘Ryan…?’ She slid an uneasy mental tendril out to the wall, testing it for flaws. ‘If I do come back…it’s something truly awful, isn’t it?’ she whispered, touching his face. ‘Something happened that’s too horrible for you to talk about.’
His eyes had that bleak, haunted look that made her unravel inside, and he stole the remains of her breath in a fierce hug that squeezed tears from her eyes.
She opened her mouth to tell him that she had changed her mind, that she would come, but she couldn’t force the words out past the paralysing fear, and the helpless tears seeped into the corners of her mouth.
‘For better or for worse, Nina. Sometimes they’re impossibly mixed up, for you don’t know which is which. But whenever you’re ready for the worst, you know where to find me,’ he said raggedly. He bent to pick up Zorro and rub his jaw against the animal’s furry ears. ‘And take care of this little guy for me.’
He handed the dog to Nina as if he knew she needed something warm and alive to fill her empty arms. Her eyes widened as she accepted the gentle transfer of weight, felt the sensation of a small heart beating rapidly against hers.
When Ryan turned his back to shake hands with Ray, Zorro seemed to sense that something was dreadfully wrong and began to whine and squirm in her arms, and once the car had disappeared from sight, he proved inconsolable, not even showing any interest in a thrown stick.
‘I’ll take him home with me and see if a bone will cheer him up,’ Nina told Ray in a thickened voice.
‘Take more than a bone if you ask me,’ Ray told her, leaning heavily on his cane. ‘You think a nice meal is going to be enough to make you perky?’
The very thought of food made her want to vomit, but it hadn’t been an invitation.
‘Why don’t you go after him, Nina?’ he urged. ‘The ferry’s not due to leave for another twenty minutes. You could still make it if you took the short cut over the track.’
Nina shook her head, wiping the dampness from her cheeks. ‘I need time to think.’
‘What’s to think about? A wife’s place is with her husband.’
For better or for worse.
The strain of the day made her temper snap. ‘These are liberated times, Ray. Sometimes it’s the husband’s place to be with his wife!’
‘Well, I hope that liberated thought keeps you warm these cold nights. Here, give Zorro to me. He’s not going to cheer up with you drooping around him like a wet week!’