At my surprised expression, he holds a hand out, palm up, and sure enough, he’s trembling slightly. “Why on earth are you that worried?”
“Because if I don’t get this right, I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life.” There’s no laughter in his eyes now, just that intense yearning that makes my breath catch. “Because the sound of your laughter is the best thing I’ve ever heard, and your smile the best thing I’ve ever seen. Because you’re the most incredible female I’ve ever met, and I want nothing more than to spend every day making you realize it.”
“Is that all?” I tease, but now I’m the one that’s trembling. To think that I can inspire so much devotion…it’s humbling and more than a little intimidating. “If it makes you feel any better, I can’t stop thinking about you, either.”
He looks surprised. “What about me?”
“Your kindness,” I say, taking in mine the hand he’s holding out. I place it on my cheek, letting his thumb graze near my mouth. “Your thoughtfulness and attentiveness when it comes to someone in need. Your ability to make terrible, corny jokes to try and distract from an awkward situation. How you always have an answer for things and you always give more than I ever expect.”
There’s a chittering sound that interrupts my train of thoughts, and I look over to see Jerry clutching the bundle of herbs—the mistletoe—in his tiny hands. He sniffs it and then nibbles on a leaf, and I bite back a chuckle.
I turn to Sinath to make a joke, but his expression is all intensity, and he’s staring at my mouth. He leans in and I tilt my face towards his. When his lips touch mine, everything feels as if it comes into place. As if this is where I’m meant to be. With a whimper, I curl my hands against his neck and pull him in for kiss after intoxicating kiss.
“Can’t stop thinking about you,” he confesses between flicks of his tongue against mine.
“I’m right here.” Funny how I can want to smile and kiss him at the same time. I’ve never felt this light sort of joy in a relationship in the past. But being with Sinath just makes everything a little brighter, a little happier. I smile so much when I’m with him that my face hurts, and I love it.
Sinath grins down at me, pressing another quick kiss to my mouth. “And you’re absolutely fulfilling every fantasy I’ve ever had.”
I arch a brow. “Really? Mine are a lot dirtier than just kissing.”
His lips part and he stares down at me. Then, he buries his face against my neck and groans low and loud. “Now I want to hear about those fantasies so I can change mine.”
Chuckling, I scratch my nails against the back of his head, where his short hair is buzzed against his scalp. One of his horns is pressing into my cheek, but I don’t mind it. It’s a little different, but that doesn’t make it bad. I like how solid he feels against me, how strong. I stroke my hand down his neck and to the deep blue plating that dances along the skin of his shoulders. He makes a sound of pleasure, as if he’d love for me to touch him everywhere. “My fantasies?”
I pause for a moment, thinking. For some reason, filthy images don’t come to mind. Not that I don’t love a good, bed-shaking round of sex. But my fantasies involve more days like this. Of holidays with a toasty fire and a decorated tree. Exchanging presents and laughing together. A partner that looks at me as if I’ve hung the moon, and the feeling of safety and contentment that comes with pure happiness.
Those are my fantasies. After being kidnapped by aliens, enduring slavery, and now settling on a farm on a remote planet with only myself to depend upon? I fantasize about a happy ever after, all right, but it looks different than it did once upon a time.
I pull back from Sinath, studying his face. “My fantasies are of forever. Of having a devoted partner who loves me and I love them back. Of having a life shared with someone. Maybe kids. Maybe not.” I bite my lip. “I’m sorry if that’s not as exciting as it should be.”
He shakes his head. “It’s all the more exciting because it’s real. You want a connection. A life partner. I want that, too.”
“Do you? Before we jump into bed together, maybe we should establish where we want this thing to go.” I run a hand down the front of his uniform. “Just so we know what to expect from each other.”
It’s weird, but I’m feeling so happy and carefree in this moment that it worries me. I want to make sure what I’m feeling is real. I’m soaring right now, and I don’t want to crash back to the ground and realize I’ve been wrong about him all along.
Perhaps Sinath senses my anxiousness. He cups my chin, then strokes his thumb over my lower lip. “This leads wherever you want it to. If you simply want a bed partner, I’ll be your bed partner. If you get tired of my jokes, I’ll leave you be.” He gives me a wry look. “I don’t want you worrying about me. You already have me.”
“We barely know each other.”
“True. But when a mesakkah makes up his mind about a female, there’s no changing it.” He leans in and gives me another light kiss, full of promise. “I know where I’m at, but I’m happy to wait until you’re in the same spot. Take your time.”
“All right.” I’m relieved. All of the anxious pressure and overthinking disappears in a flash. We’ll enjoy ourselves and not stress over the future. I can deal with that. “That sounds wonderful.”
He kisses me once more, this time his lips lingering. I want to follow the brush of his mouth. I want to nip his full lower lip and watch his response. I wantsomany things right now, and my fantasies are finally taking a distinctly erotic turn. “Well, Devin, when can I see you again?”
That stops me in my tracks. I pull back, regarding him. “Wait. You’re leaving? Right now?”
When things were just getting sexy?
Sinath gives me a confused stare. “Do…you not want me to?”
“I kinda thought we’d have sex.”
A smile of understanding dawns across his face. “I wouldloveto have sex.”
Really? “Then why are you leaving, Sinath?”