So I stare out the icy window at my bots, herding my cattle through a muddy, snow-covered field over to a less wet one.
I’m so lost in thought that a knock on the door makes me jump in surprise. Jerry immediately chirps and races across the floor, his little nails clacking as he runs to hide. I wasn’t expecting guests, and I’m a little unnerved that someone’s here. Moving to the door, I check the security feed…and sigh with relief.
It’s a Port Custodial sled outside, which means…
My relief changes to a hint of excitement. Leaning against the door, I call, “Who’s there?”
“Sin!”
His immediate, cheery answer makes me laugh. “I’m not calling you that,” I yell back through the door. “Not a chance!”
“You sound as merry as usual,” he calls back. “Can I come in or are we talking through the door now?”
Chuckling, I open the door and stare in surprise. It’s Sinath all right, but he’s got another tree in his arms, this one bigger and even prettier than Liesje’s tree. It’s got a handmade garland twined in the neon green leaves, and one of the baked dough ornaments hangs from its limbs. Sinath himself is wearing the horn tassels I made him and his new scarf, and he beams at me, all cocky assuredness. “Can I come in?”
“Wh-what is all this?” I gesture feebly at the tree even as he steps inside, stomping some snow off of his boots. “Did Liesje’s tree die?”
“No, this tree is for you.” He gives me a brilliant smile, his eyes alight with fun. “I realized we didn’t have a merry holiday for the merriest of females I know.”
Now I’m sure he’s teasing me. I don’t know if that’s him being friendly or me not being able to read if he’s flirting or not. I eye him, arching a brow. “Seriously, what’s the deal here?”
His smile fades ever so slightly and he gestures at the tree in his arms. “It didn’t seem fair for Liesje to have a holiday tree and you not. So I brought you one.” He hesitates and then adds, “And I brought mistletoe. That’s what it’s called, right? The herbs you hang when you want someone to kiss you?” Again, he pauses and he swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I would love to kiss you again and I’m desperate for any excuse to do so.”
Oh.
He’s nervous. He’s putting himself out there for me and he’s nervous. This is the sweetest thing any man has ever done for me. I bite my lip, smiling shyly up at him. “You didn’t have to bring mistletoe if you wanted to be kissed. You just needed to come and tell me how you feel.”
“I’m not good with words.” He clutches the tree’s pot to his chest as if it’s armor protecting him. “At least, not serious words. I’m great with bad jokes.” Sinath gives me a rueful smile, his tail swaying behind him. “But telling a beautiful human that I like her and desperately hope she likes me back? That’s harder. So if I need to use a few props to have an excuse to show up on your doorstep, have mercy on me.”
He gazes down at me with his heart in his eyes. I can see the nervousness there, the smiling hope, and the anxiety that’s plaguing him. Something tells me it was incredibly hard for him to show up here and approach me. He’s the type to bury his feelings in jokes and not state them out loud.
That just makes it all the more special when he does give me heartfelt words.
“I didn’t want to push you,” I say. “If you didn’t want more than a few flirty kisses, I thought we could leave things where they were.”
“And what if I want more than a few flirty kisses?”
My stomach flutters. “I guess it depends on what you want.”
He hesitates, juggling the tree in his arms. “I don’t want to scare you off.”
“Are you wanting to skin me and wear me as a suit?”
“What? No!” Sinath gives me a horrified look. “Where did that come from?”
“Too much TV, probably. But really that’s the thing that would scare me off. Confessing how you feel won’t frighten me, though.”
“What if I feel a lot?”
“I’m fine with that.” I smile up at him. “I’ve been feeling a lot lately, too.”
“No, you don’t get it. When I look at you, I see…”
“What?”
“Forever,” he blurts out. His expression is earnest, which is a little strange considering his horns have silly tassels on them. Yet I see nothing but sincerity on his handsome alien face. “When I look at you, I see someone I want to wake up next to for the rest of my days. I see someone I want to laugh with over tea. I see someone I want to be under the blankets with on snowy days. Warm ones, too. I just want to be with you. Always. But like I said, I know it might be too soon. Mesakkah can be rather…clingy.”
“I don’t mind clingy.” After the last few years of loneliness and misery, I’d welcome a clingy lover. “But you’re right that this is quick. Maybe we take things one day at a time?”