He’s proven me wrong, though. For all that Sinath is a lot of talk—alotof talk—he’s got a very kind heart. It’s evident in the way he takes care of Liesje and how he wants me to be careful around her. He makes me smile for some silly reason, and he makes me blush.
I thought I’d lost my blush.
So I think about that kiss a lot. I think about what would have happened if I had given him more than a dry peck on the lips. I think about what he would have done if I’d slipped him some tongue. Would he have been aghast and accused me of stabbing him with my tongue like the other woman? Or would he want more tonguing? It’s such a shame that he doesn’t like kissing…but it also explains why he recoiled at the suggestion.
Ironic because offering a kiss here and there usually gets great results amongst alien men. I don’t think I’ve ever met one that was appalled at the thought. It’s rather endearing. It makes me feel like kisses are mine again, instead of a currency I have to use to get ahead.
He’d been so hopeful when he’d asked me if I hated kissing, too, and something about that just made my heart twist.
Fighting back a yawn, I touch the gifts I have wrapped up and pull Jerry out of his bed at the foot of mine. “It’s cold outside, buddy,” I tell him as I scratch his belly. “Time for a sweater.”
I tug the little crocheted sweater over his head and down his torso. He scratches at it once, but then goes back to sleep, and I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do something with my hair.
He might not be coming today, I warn myself as I pull my wavy brown hair back from my face. Sinath has a job. This is just another day for him, and it’s a day with bad weather. It might not be worth it for him to drive out in the snow just for some Christmas cookies and spending time with Liesje and me.
He might have decided the kiss was weird after all. Mesakkah get strange about their sanitary laws. I examine my teeth in the small mirror and stick out my tongue. Looks normal. Doesn’t seem gross to me, but mesakkah tongues are bigger and have ridges. Maybe my smooth one is unpleasant to him.
Why do I even care? I want to smack myself upside the head for getting all invested. He’s just another guy, blue or not.
But it’s been five years since I’ve had any kind of pleasurable sex, and I’m getting rather tired of my hand. I’m so tired of being alone.
That must be it. I’m settling for the first penis that comes across my path. I laugh at my reflection and then head back into the bedroom. It’s not the case, of course. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to have sex with other aliens. I could have sucked and fucked my way into steady meals back at the lord’s house when I was a pet. The male servants would have probably taken me up on it. And when I landed here, some of the dock-workers and the shipping captains that have come through made it clear that they were interested if I was interested.
I…just wasn’t interested.
I’m still not sure if I’m interested now. All I know is that I want to choke Sinath sometimes…and then I spend the rest of the time thinking about how his mouth felt under mine.
Sigh.
There’s a knock at the door, surprising me. It’s early yet, and the snow is coming down thickly. I race to the front door and check the security feed. Sure enough, it’s Sinath, wearing a heavy coat, his air-sled idling a short distance away.He looks good, too. That infuriating smile is curving his mouth, and his eyes are bright, his horns shiny. His hair is neat and looks slightly damp, as if he just got out of the shower. One lock dangles on his brow between his horns, and I can’t decide if I find it annoying or sexy. And the tip of his tail moves back and forth repeatedly. Five years with mesakkah and I don’t know if a moving tail is a happy thing (like a dog) or an irritated thing (like a cat).
I open the door, only to be blasted in the face with an icy wind. “Oh my god,” I yelp. “Come inside!”
He laughs at my reaction and races in, shutting the door behind him. “This weather is really something today, isn’t it?”
I nod, peering out the nearest window at the potential blizzard. “Is this a bad idea? Should we reschedule and do this some other time?”
“Over a bit of snow? Pah. It’s nothing. Bracing, really.” He thumps a fist over his chest. “And besides, Liesje’s waiting for us. We don’t want her to think we changed our minds.”
He’s right. Liesje’s not a child. She’d understand if I sent her a comm and said the weather was too bad…but she’d be disappointed anyhow. The last thing I want is to disappoint her right now. So I turn back toward my bedroom. “Let me get an extra blanket for Jerry. It’s cold and I read his breed should be hibernating.”
I pick up my pet, cuddling him, and return to the living area. Sure enough, Sinath takes one look at Jerry in his sweater and laughs. He holds his sides, shaking his head. “That animal is ridiculous and he’s absolutely growing on me.”
That makes me chuckle. “He’s smart, too. I can show you a trick he’s learned for food. Watch.” I set Jerry down on the counter and then pick up one of the baked cookies I’ve made and put it to my mouth. “Mmmm. Mmmm, soooo good,” I moan.
Like he always does, Jerry races to my side and sits up, making a digging motion with one paw in the way that he’s learned gets him treats. I reward him with a bite of my cookie and turn to look at Sinath, proud of my pet.
He’s not looking at Jerry, though. He’s staring at my mouth, his expression dazed.
“What did you think?” I ask, my voice throaty.
“Amazing,” he breathes. “Just…amazing.”
I’m blushing all over again. “We should get going. I made some cookies and I baked a pie that I’d like to bring over. Do you want to get Jerry or help me with the food?”
He moves to the counter and picks Jerry up, to my surprise, and even scratches him behind the ear. Jerry makes a sound of pure delight and scrambles up Sinath’s shoulder, clutching the tip of one curled horn. He looks like he was born to be there, the traitor. I like seeing them together, though, and I fold up a blanket and add it to the box I plan on taking with me over to Liesje’s. The presents are in there, and when I add the food, the blanket on top, I’m ready to go. “All good.”
“You should get a coat. It’s very cold outside.” Sinath frowns at the poncho I’m wearing, the very one he gave me. “Tell me you have more than that.”