In fact, she hadn’t even cooked them both food. She felt sick to her stomach.
Was this why he never wanted to fuck her? He was getting his kicks elsewhere? She wasn’t sexy enough for him?
Not good enough in anyway.
“Ava, what’s going on?” he asked.
“Nothing. I’m not feeling toogood,” Ava said.
“Are you doing too much?” He took a step toward her, and Ava immediately stepped away.
“It’s nothing. I think I just need an early night.” She tucked some of her hair behind her ear and glanced around the kitchen. “I didn’t make you anything to eat. There is food in the fridge or you can order takeout.”
“Ava, what is going on?” Smokey asked.
“You didn’t pull the decorations from out of the attic,” Ava said.
“No, I, er, I got busy.”
“Right, of course.”You were screwing my friend?
Shedidn’t even want to say the words out loud.
Isaw them hugging. Is that really proof?
“Do you know if there is anything going on with Harlow?” Ava asked. This time, she forced herself to look at him, to see if he gave any signs that he was lying or keeping secrets from her.
His jaw ticked. It was just slight, but she saw it.
“She works for you.”
“I know, but she, er, she said she was out running errands or something today. Did you see her? Did she seem … odd to you?”
“No, I haven’t seen her.”
Ava gritted her teeth. “You didn’t see her? Not even in passing?” He was lying! Why was he lying?
“No, I didn’t see her. Besides, isn’t she odd to begin with?”
She looked at him and wanted to beg for him to stop whateverhe was doing because it was breaking her heart.
Smokey was lying. Ava wanted to scream at him that she saw the two of them together, but the words never left her lips. She didn’t say anything to him.“I-I’m sorry,” she said, taking a step back.
Tears stung her eyes as she left, heading back toward the stairs.
“Go and take a long hot bath. I’ll be up in a minute to wash your back, and I’ll take care of you.”
“No, that’s fine. I’m just going to go and liedown.” Ava didn’t look back. She rushed upstairs, but rather than go to her bedroom, she eased herself into her son’s bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Smokey would come to their bedroom, and there would be no hiding. Sleep wouldn’t come to her, noteasily.
There was a small night light in their son’s bedroom. Ava tiptoed toward his crib, not wanting to wake him but to see him. To look at her son and to feel the love that consumed her so quickly and easily when he was born, and that had only continued to grow with every passing month.
Umberto was fast asleep. His little mouthwas slightly open, and his hands were at either side of his head, looking so peaceful and relaxed.
Her perfect little boy. He was so beautiful.
She thought about Harlow hugging Smokey.