I need to move before it consumes me, but I can’t.
I want to get lost in her and maybe find the hope I’m not sure exists.
This, us touching, feels right.
Perfect.
Her eyes shine, locking with mine. For the first time, I notice their strange coloring—blue with a hint of purple. The dim light of the bar never allowed me to appreciate them.
She claims her hand and tilts her head toward the inside. “Do you want to come up for some coffee or tea, maybe water? I’m afraid I don’t have much to offer.”
“Yeah, we have time,” Matt says, opening the metal door wider.
Feeling a little dazed, I follow her.
The short flight of stairs takes us to another light-blue door. As Thea opens it, the sound of instrumental music and nature sounds from her small apartment reaches me. The crowded space fits one bed, a table, an old brown sofa, plastic containers, and bookshelves filled with books, crafts, and plastic boxes.
The table has tools on top, cords, charms, and colorful yarns. A penetrating aroma of incense burns for a couple of breaths before I get used to it.
“You’re working on making jewelry this late at night?” Matt asks when we reach the apartment. She stares at the bracelets she wears on her arms, nods, and smiles. “Nice. Can I use your bathroom?”
“Yeah, behind the only door in this apartment.” She looks around at the unmade bed and scrunches her face. “Sorry for the mess, but it’s been a busy week.”
Matt doesn’t say a word as he disappears through the small door.
“So, you two are… an item?” she asks, biting her lip.
Instinctively I growl, “No.”
“Sorry, about… assuming that you and—” She bites her lip. “He—”
“No worries, I get it. Matthew doesn’t have many filters.” I walk over to the table and start admiring a crocheted flower and checking the drawings on the sketchpad. Then casually say, “Though, I am bisexual. In case you’re wondering.”
What the fuck did I just say?
My gaze lifts and meets hers. I’ve no fucking idea where that comes from or why I want her to know. In fact, this is the first time I’ve ever actually admitted it out loud.
“Yeah, Matt doesn’t have filters. If you only knew the things I know about him.” She gives me a coy smile and heads to the kitchen.
I follow behind, wanting to know more about him, about her. Questions pop inside my head. Like, why is there a magnetic pull between the two of us? Or am I only imagining it?
“There aren’t many like Matt. It takes a lot of courage to embrace who you are and to be open and free.”
Is she talking about me or her?
She doesn’t know me, but she… well, she looks like a free spirit, someone who wouldn’t care about what the rest of the world thinks about her or what she does. Her eyes flicker, her shoulders sag, and I believe I’ve found vulnerability within that happy armor she wears. Someone fragile, breakable.
“What are we having?”
“We should leave.” I glare at him. “She has work and needs to sleep.”
“But, and hear me out, why don’t the three of us go for an early breakfast? We deserve it after a long day at work.” Only Matthew Decker would have the energy to go for a meal.
“No. I met her, we’re going to leave her to it and maybe another day we can take her out to dinner or something.”
Matt grins. “I like the idea. It’s a date. We’ll finalize the deets later.”
“No— I—”